+=-Lost Friendship-=+

A Fresh Start

2011-10-09T01:59:00.004+08:00

A short post here.
After months of finding stuff from all over the internet,I'm gonna put my plans into action.
I will give myself 3 months to notice any changes.
And I will stay committed within that period.
I shall not go out as much as I used to and if never is the best.

If this plan still fail, I'm gonna go on drugs.

I'm starting in Nov 2011. Ending January 2012.

Why the sudden urge?
I don't know. A new semester? A brand new start.

I will be MIA again.

I hope 3 months is enough.

Hee! :D

I will abandon music within this period.

I dreamed a dream

2011-06-24T15:39:00.007+08:00

Hi. I failed my audition.
I just feel sad.
I'm not sad that I fail it.
I just feel that well I have no talents anymore.
I used to think that singing was my only talent.
And it was proven that it wasn't.

So,this is what I will say.
Screw this life.
I will stop pursuing music.
I have no talent in it anyway.

To have talents is something you are born with
Not something that you pick up along your way in life.
That would be called hobbies.

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
As they turn your dream to shame

And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

I thought this was a dreamed I dream.

Thanks God. Just thanks. You gave me nothing in this life and you expect me to live it.

Wherever I go

2011-06-21T20:04:00.004+08:00

Hey readers.My holidays are ending soon.I feel inspired watching movies about high school life.It reminded me of when I was in Secondary School.

Those days are just too much.

All of us have grown up to be young matured adults.

There are times where we might break down.
There are times when we are frustrated because we couldn't meet our expectations.

All of this are what we experienced each day when we are given a test.

We may be far apart.
We may be in different institution.
But the memories we had always stay within us.
It's time to forget about the past.

And to begin a new future.
A future that we might see one another again.
And also a future that we might not.
Time have changed.

And we have to adapt to it.
Because time doesn't wait for us.

So I'm movin' on.
And I hope when we do meet outside,
We could be friends once more,no longer strangers.

"Pain makes us stronger. Tears makes us braver. Heartbreak makes us wiser. We should thank the past for a better future.."

Here we are now
Everything is about to change
We face tomorrow as we say goodbye to yesterday
A chapter ending but the stories only just begun
A page is turning for everyone

So I’m moving on
Letting go
Holding on to tomorrow
I’ve always got the memories while I’m finding out who I’m gonna be
We might be apart but I hope you always know
You’ll be with me wherever I go
Wherever I go

So excited I can barely even catch my breath
We have each other to lean on for the road ahead
This happy ending is the start of all our dreams
And I know your heart is with me

So I’m moving on
Letting go
Holding on to tomorrow
I’ve always got the memories while I’m finding out who I’m gonna be
We might be apart but I hope you always know
You’ll be with me wherever I go

Its time to show the world we’ve got something to say
A song to sing out loud we’ll never fade away
I know I’ll miss you but we’ll meet again someday
We’ll never fade away

So I’m moving on
Letting go
Holding on to tomorrow
I’ve always got the memories while I’m finding out who I’m gonna be
We might be apart but I hope you always know
You’ll be with me wherever I go

So I’m moving on
Letting go
Holding on to tomorrow
I’ve always got the memories while I’m finding out who I’m gonna be
We might be apart but I hope you always know
You’ll be with me wherever I go

Wherever, Wherever I go

Entitled "Wherever I go" By Miley Cyrus.

That Should Be Me

2011-06-20T00:53:00.006+08:00

Hey readers. It has been a month or so since I last came here. Now is the holidays and it's been pretty busy in the past.

To become adaptable in a new environment takes time.The transition period is slow for me and I am still not fitting in yet.

I don't know why but I'm too distracted because of one particular event.
And so I've decided to just blog about it.It would just make that feeling go away.

I miss someone.
Someone special to me.
And I was a fool to let her go.
I thought that she would understand.
The pressure that I'm going through.
People's expectations.

Ever since that night,those words you said to me just keep playing back on my mind.
I have always tried my best not to hurt you.
I chose the right words to say to you.
And to you that three words that you were looking for was never there.

Neither of us have the perfect attitude.
But I didn't complain.
I accepted.

Yes.I don't know.
I never know things.
That is why I set out on this journey.
To find the Answers
For all my Questions.

As times passed,you became impatient.
And so we broke off our friendship.
You said It would haunt you.
But everyday it's haunting me too ever since that day.

I am losing my focus now.
But I shall stop.
I know that you are still hurt.
And I'm hurting deep down too.
I just don't show it.

I will just try my best to forget everything.
I don't expect you to forgive me either.

Well,Goodbye Girl.

Ouuuuuuu
ouuuuuuuu

Everybody's laughing in my mind,
Rumors spreading 'bout this other guy,
Do you do what you did when you
did with me?
Does he love you the way I can?
Did you forget all the plans
that you made with me?
'cause baby I didn't!

That should be me,
Holdin' your hand,
That should be me
Makin' you laugh,
That should be me,
This is so sad,
That should be me,
That should be me,
That should be me,
Feelin' your kiss,
That should be me,
Buyin' you gifts,
This is so wrong,
I can't go on,
Till you believe that,
That should be me

Ouuuuuuu
ouuuuuuuu

That should be me,
Yeah,
You said you needed a little time
For my mistakes,
It's funny how you used that time
To have me replaced,
Did you think that I wouldn't see you out at the movies
Whatcha doin' to me,
You're takin' him where we used to go,
Now if you're tryin' to break my heart,
It's working 'cause you know that,...

Chorus:

That should be me,
Holdin' your hand,
That should be me,
Makin' you laugh,
That should be me,
This is so sad,
That should be me,
That should be me,
That should be me,
Feelin' your kiss,
That should be me ,

Buyin' you gifts,
This is so wrong,
I can't go on,
Till you believe that,
That should be me

I need to know should I fight
For our love for this long
It's getting harder to shield
This pain in my heart!!!

Chorus:
That should be me,
Holdin' your hand,
That should be me,
Makin' you laugh,
That should be me,
This is so sad,
That should be me,
That should be me,
That should be me,
Feelin' your kiss,
That should be me,
Buyin' you gifts,
This is so wrong,
I can't go on,
Till you believe that,
That should be me,
Holding your hand,
That should be me,
Oh i makin you laugh, oh Baby,
That should be me,
(that should be me givin you flowers)
That should be me,
Talking by hours,that should be me, that should be me,
that should be me

Never should've let you go,!
I never should've let you go,!
That should be me!!
Never should've let you go
That should be me

Entitled "That should be me" By Justin Bieber ft Rascal Flatts.

I just feel that my heart is half-empty without you in my life.

Acceptance I

2011-04-30T12:13:00.004+08:00

Hi guys.Week 1 is finally over.I'm relieved.Although it's still hard to adapt to a new environment,it's been a vibrant week.

Like always,I study people.I don't stalk them.It's just by looking or overhearing the way they speak that tells me the person they truly are.

I'm not going to complain or anything.I find it interesting.There are some new things that I haven't seen before.

In a new environment,there are some that are an extrovert and some that are an introvert.During the first day,I was pretty much an introvert.Well,majority were.

It was only through the orientation that I've decided to be the opposite.Although there are times that I just keep to myself.

Everyone wants to be accepted for what they are.Everyone wants to find friends that are able to compromise with.
All of us came from a different background.
Different walk of life.
And the pains that we had to bear along the way.

And as usual,there are some that are just pretending to be someone they are not.
The harder you try to hide it,the more obvious it becomes.

We may be friends for the next three years but to be happy as a class,we really have to put in the effort to seek that happiness together.

It doesn't come instantaneously.There are some that differ in opinions when it comes to jokes.And there are some that differ in decision-making.

It could be that the new environment doesn't give us the opportunity to bond closer.

Sometimes we have to sacrifice ourselves from certain group for the happiness of others.

You haven't seen the last of me

2011-04-22T11:16:00.007+08:00

Hey readers.
Orientation was over.
We somehow bonded.
Some through games.
Lunch.
Or just casually talking.

I hope that now you will understand what I've been trying to tell you.
I hope that you would open your eyes.

I know that we hate to be at the losing end but sometimes we just have to for the sake of others.
To live in this life we have to make sacrifices and keep our promises.
There's no point trying to show a good side in front of other people and not keeping our promises.

Maybe this was god's choice for us to go on our separate way and seek the truth that we have not seen from 5 years of our secondary life.

No one loves to be alone in this world.
It's only temporary.
Only time will tell.

To Another Guy.
I don't want to say much about you.I can't really force you to forgive yourself for twisting your words against me.And it wasn't my fault that you messed it up...

School will be officially starting next week.And it's going to be busy.It's like doing a job during office hour everyday.

It could be a lesson for us to learn.And to change into someone better.Someone more understanding,compassionate with others and being optimistic about life.

It was stupid for me to do soul-searching for a month because it just doesn't have a time limit.

This is a new milestone for us.It's time to mold our characters into someone more positive.Someone who keeps their promises.

We should never give up.
Push ourselves till the end.
Stand up when we fall.
Even if we are at our limits.
Giving up is never an option.

Winners never quit and quitters never wins.

May you find triumph in life.

Confession

2011-04-06T13:24:00.008+08:00

You may be hurt.
You may cry.
You may whine.
You said you wanted to stop all of this.
Because you can't bear the pain.

And I asked.
What is love?
Is it something that you are suppose to try?
Or is it something where two party are attracted to one another naturally?

You may have your friends.
They may sympathize with you.

And let me confess a little something about you.
You may hate me.
You may despise me.
All I can say is the truth will make you realize something about yourself.

You asked whether you are annoying to me.
The Answer is No.

Sometimes you misunderstood whatever I'm trying to say.
It may be hard.
You may pity me.

Because I am struggling with my life.
With no happiness.
No Laughter.

And you asked if I had loved you once.
Yes. I had. In the past.

In the past,many things that you did inspired me but all of that change.You may not notice it but over the years you are changing yourself.

You used to be active.
You were enthusiastically motivated.
You spoke up for people rights.
You were never sarcastic.
You knew your limits.

Let me elaborate the last part. You know when to back down when people are angry.You know when to apologize when you were in the wrong. And when people are down,you would cheer them up.

Sarcasm was my part.

And all of it just dies.

We have been friends for quite sometime.
We have gone through the hardship together.
We have seen the joy in life together.

But it all comes to an end.

We may have started on the wrong foot.
Maybe you don't really know how to confess it in person.
Was there really ways of affection you shown to me in person?

Why are you rushing to fall in love?
We have many years ahead of us.

I have never complain for what you have become,I accepted it.
And yet you can't accept for what I am.
Just because I don't have the perfect attitude.

It seems that we can no longer be friends.

How many more friends will I lose?
If I continue to speak the truth..
It's all in the past now.

These reasons may be trivial but each and every one of it will change a person.

Farewell.

Frustration

2011-04-01T22:39:00.003+08:00

This isn't a good sign

I am having depressions.
Anxiety.
My vision is getting worse everyday.

And one day,I can no longer see.

I will try to be happy.
I will try to share my happiness.
I will try to forget those bitterness moments.

I will try my best to be useful
I will try to be less irritating.
I will try to be restrictive of my actions.
I will try to smile.
I will try to sacrifice my pride.

This life is no longer a game to me.
It's a purpose I was given.

Some may say I am exaggerating.
Maybe I am.
But you don't see the ugly truth.
The truth behind how life revolves.
How society works.
And how to fit in one.
And the people in it.

Don't you know how cruel this is.
To live in this life.
Why don't you try to be understanding for once?
Put yourself in my shoe for once.

To live a life.
By having people staring at you.
As if you are from some other planet.
Sometimes I'm even worse than you.
But you don't see it.
Because you didn't spare a thought.

I don't blame you.
All I want is a little sympathy.

I may smile.
But does that show happiness?
No.
It's like a needle in a haystack.
That's what happiness means to me.

The probability of finding it is so low.
That sometimes I even want to give up.

Maybe I should.
I'm sick of putting my life with this kind of...

And it will only be a matter of time.

Blow The Candles Out

2011-03-28T13:45:00.008+08:00

Hello readers.It's been a while.In three weeks,I will be starting school.A new environment and a new classmates.

I tried my hardest to patch up every broken relationship but it still didn't work.
All of us wants to end school with a high note.
And after a few outings,I have noticed changes in them.

Some had forgotten how the friendship was forged.
Some had forgotten their goals for the year.
Some are just testing patience.

Who would expect.The School Life that we once had together is now behind us.And to look forward in a new institution.

I know that this would lead to nowhere.
Thus,I have stop believing that it would work out.

It seems you have no idea who I am.
There are moments to laugh.
And there are moments to be serious.
And you have seriously changed.

If I was fated to have friends,so be it.
If not,let it be.

Sometimes meeting them at first seems easy but letting go is tough.Well,that only happens if they are really close.

I have forgiven everyone's wrongdoings as I'm tired to give the silent treatment to them.
The past is the past.
Don't rake it up.

I will look forward to the future.
Although,I will walk it alone.
I wish everyone the best for their future.

Will people get what they deserved?
For their wrongdoings?
Retribution?
Karma?

It may not be now.
A few years later.

If I am a joke to you,I would say goodbye first.

I just want to forget the past.
And everyone in it.
I wish I can erase it all for once.
Living a life full of misery.
Can really tears you apart.

The power lines went out
And I am all alone
But I don't really care at all
Not answering my phone
All the games you played
The promises you made
Couldn't finish what you started
Only darkness still remains

Lost sight
Couldn't see
When it was you and me

Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
I'm beginning to see the light
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
But I think I'll be alright

Been black and blue before
There's no need to explain
I am not the jaded kind
Playback's such a waste
You're invisible
Invisible to me
My wish is coming true
Erase the memory of your face

Lost sight
Couldn't see
When it was you and me

Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
I'm beginning to see the light
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
But I think I'll be alright

One day
You will wake up
With nothing but you’re sorries
And someday
You will get back
Everything you gave me

Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
I'm beginning to see the light
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
But I think I'll be alright

Entitled "Candles"

This game has come to an end.

It was fun while it lasted.

But Now It's time to blow the Candles Out.

Game Over.

I meant every word of it.

Get It Right

2011-03-16T23:45:00.015+08:00

Hey readers.I don't really feel happy.Neither am I angry.I just feel like I want to cry.Sometimes when you listen to music,you can be moved by the words and that's what happen to me.

It could be I felt the meaning of the song.
And I was able to relate it to myself.

I used to tell myself that it was okay.
Everything's going to be alright.
Someone will protect you.
But it's all a lie.

And who am I kidding.
I keep thinking that this is a fairytale
And I will have a happy ending.

The fact that I'm trying to avoid is.
Nobody just wants me.
Because I'm way too imperfect.

It's painful to admit your flaws.
Mistakes do make us stronger.
Sometimes when you keep repeating the same mistake,we will just get tired.
And feel like giving up.

Even misunderstandings.I tried my best to phrase my words but in the end it will lead to misunderstandings.And everything will turn sour.
Wouldn't the person that made the misunderstandings feel guilty?
And I just want to fix it.

What have I done? I wish I could run
Away from this ship goin' under
Just tryin' to help, hurt everyone
Now I feel the weight of the world is
On my shoulders

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight

Can I start again with my faith shaken?
'Cause I can't go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes
But if I get stronger and wiser
I'll get through this

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight

So I throw up my fist
I will punch in the air
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair
Yeah, I'll send out a wish
Yeah, I'll send up a prayer
And finally, someone will see
How much I care!

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight

Entitled "Get It Right"
Every night without fail I will ask god,

Why did you make me like this?
To hold others' burden
To be mocked
To be push around
To be stared at
To just be a substitute

And in the end I will beg,
Just take me away please
I'm tired of this life
Let me sleep forever

I wish that god could be reasonable with me

Even if tomorrow I will wake up,I will feel life doesn't mean anything to me anymore.

Day by Day, I will feel bitter.
And I tried to fit in.
I really did.
I even tried mingling around.
But I will not understand happiness.

I may laugh.
I may smile widely.
But it is just not what I truly felt.

Am I really comfortable with my own skin?
Perhaps not.
Why?
People can't accept for what I look.

Yes.
They are biased.
And no,I care less about looks.
But the society is degrading.

Mockery.
Discrimination.
Unwanted Attention.

How can I live in peace.

Even if I was not at fault,the blame will be push to me.
And even if I utter a word,you started to hate me.

My dreams are unachievable.
No matter how you look at it.

And it's all because I look different?

Is my sight that disgusting for me to talk with you? :'(

Sometimes I feel those that are accepted in the society are just not grateful.

I would rather die earlier than to continue living in this world.

How many times will it take for me to just get it right?! :'(

I don't need your sympathies because it won't change me for what I am.

Rejected.
Outcast.

I think I've done enough.
It's time to end it.
Once and For All.

Listen Closely.
I meant every word of it.

Pray

2011-03-12T22:57:00.007+08:00

Hey readers.All of you might have heard about the news on Japan.It's a misfortune.
An earthquake of 8.9 magnitude of the Richter scale hit Japan causing tsunamis once more.Within radius,the tsunami began to overcome with its massive force.

Sendai,Japan was the first to hit as it was near to the harbor.There are several videos that people took even if their life was at stake.

And today,there was a nuclear meltdown.

So what's a meltdown?

A meltdown is overheating of the nuclear core causing the core to melt which allow radiation of nuclear activity into the atmosphere.

It's like one after the other.

And why should we worry?
Because many lives are lost.
Homeless.
Lost their jobs.
Their effort.
A family.

And yet they are still in danger.Why?
Seismic activity would last a few days or maybe one-two weeks the most.
And there are some that might feel tremors.
Due to these activity,tsunami would still be a threat to the people on land.
And the aftermath is just the beginning.
It would take few days or weeks before the water is back to the sea.

Communication lines are cut.
Injuries status unknown
Medical personnel are restricted.
And casualties would receive treatment not even on time.
There are some that are missing.
Some trapped.
Some could be safe and some could not.
There are others that would feel mentally stressed about the whole situation.
Many lives are at stake.
Shortages of food.
The lack of proper sanitation.

Ohh Ohh Ohh .. and I pray
I just cant sleep tonight.
Knowing that things aint right.
Its in the papers, its on the tv, its everywhere that I go.
Children are crying.
Soldiers are dying
Some people don't have a home
But I know there's sunshine behind that rain
I know there's good times behind that pain, hey
Can you tell me how I can make a change
I close my eyes and I can see a better day
I close my eyes and pray
I close my eyes and I can see a better day
I close my eyes and pray

I lose my appetite, knowing kids starve tonight.
And when I sit up, cause my dinner is still on my plate.
Ooo I got a vision, to make a difference.
And its starting today.

Cause I know there's sunshine behind that rain
I know there's good times behind that pain, hey

Haven`t tell me how I can make a change
I close my eyes and I can see a better day
I close my eyes and pray
I close my eyes and I can see a better day

I close my eyes and pray
For the broken-hearted.
I pray for the life not started
I pray for all the ones not breathing.
I pray for all the souls in need.
I pray. Can you give em one today.
I just cant sleep tonight
Can someone tell how to make a change?

I close my eyes and I can see a better day
I close my eyes and pray
I close my eyes and I can see a better day
I close my eyes and I pray

I pray ..

I close my eyes and pray ..

Entitled "Pray"

What can we do at the very least..
A prayer.
Even though we are all of different religions,our faith is the one that allow us to pray with confidence to each of our own gods'.

There are many relief efforts going on.
Some would give monetary to them to provide efficient aid to them.
Some would give their assistance to find the missing people.
No one would want to lose their loved one.Not even us.

And we should be thankful with what we have here.
We should be grateful.
And should always help those that are in need.
If we are self-centered,no one would help us in the future.
It may not be much but doing something is better than doing nothing.

There comes a time
When we head a certain call
When the world must come together as one
There are people dying
And it's time to lend a hand to life
The greatest gift of all

We can't go on
Pretending day by day
That someone, somewhere will soon make a change
We are all a part of
God's great big family
And the truth, you know love is all we need

[Chorus]
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

Send them your heart
So they'll know that someone cares
And their lives will be stronger and free
As God has shown us by turning stone to bread
So we all must lend a helping hand

[Chorus]
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

When you're down and out
There seems no hope at all
But if you just believe
There's no way we can fall
Well, well, well, well, let us realize
That a change will only come
When we stand together as one

[Chorus]
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

Entitled "We are the World"

Pray for their safety.
Pray for their reunion.
Pray for Japan in any possible way.

Pursuance

2011-03-09T17:07:00.003+08:00

Hey readers.Today's post is about "Pursuance".It's something that we are pursuing in order to achieve it overtime.There are many things that we are pursuing in life.

Studies.
Love.
Ourselves.
Music.
Life.
Family.
Happiness.
Truth.

All of this depends on the individual that wanting to pursue the things they wanted.And all takes time.Sometimes sacrifices.

Sacrifices have to be made in order to pursue it alone.This journey is a journey that even your friends or those that said they would accompanied you would know that's the answer because it is us who venture it and only us will know what we have been searching all this while.

Some think they would understand it.
Some don't even bother.
Some would try to compromise it.
Some are just too stubborn.

To all those mates of mine,in a month time. I do hope that our communication would still exist because I went on this journey alone and had stopped contacting you guys.

In order to achieve something we have to concentrate right?

I might be able to see the answers that I've been searching for.
And maybe I won't

This journey takes time.Maybe a month won't do. A year? A Decade? Several Decades?

During this journey,I swear that I will be a better person.

There are some that asked.

What is it you are looking for?
And why must it be now?

First. I have no idea. It could be my happiness. Maybe my soul-mate. Or some other things.
Second. If not now then when? I don't want to live in a confused life forever.

Maybe Singapore isn't the best place to do soul-searching.It's bustling everywhere.And there are nowhere that I can go. Everywhere, there are shopping malls,houses.

I guess I just have to keep finding even if I were to aged and not find it.My life would then meant nothing regrettably.

I took my love and I took it down
I climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
'Til the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Oh Oh... I don't know...Oh Oh....Oh Oh....

Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm getting older too

So...

(Guitar solo)

I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I, I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm getting older too...
I'm getting older too...

So, take this love, take it down
Oh if you climb a mountain and you turn around
If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide will bring you down, down

And If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well maybe... The landslide will bring you do

Entitled "Landslide" by the Glee Cast.

Imperfect is the new Perfect

2011-03-05T13:35:00.004+08:00

Hey readers.Time for another post since I was inspired once more by several songs and of course the message that I hope you guys would learn at the end of this post.

Ever since the previous post I made,I am starting to forget all about it.The problem.The cause.
There's no point to always stay angry at someone just because they fail to deliver it to you.They are humans too.

Humans make mistakes.
We are all imperfect.
We can't demand
We ask.
And they compromise.

All of us have flaw.Everyone.Including those that are perfect in our eyes.It's just that we don't get to know these "perfect" people.

Even those that say themselves are perfect are never perfect.
They could have a rotten personality.A Cheater.Liar.Drama Queen.
They could have a scar or a birthmark.
A distorted body parts like the nose or lips or ears.
They could have a finger that is longer than the rest.

All of these imperfect makes us perfect.Our own originality.Uniqueness.

Nobody's perfect but all of us still accept them for who we are and what we will be.

Here I am, here I stand, I took a picture of my hand
Bet you can tell its not manicured
Here I am, half a man, I'm not a doctor, I'm not tan
And I never helped the score
I drive too fast
The team picked me last
I break the rules and like it
My body curves
I forget the words
I missed the serve and lost it

All my flawz to see.
But you still love,
Love me.

Here I am face down, sometimes I smile or frown
But it depends on the time of the day
Here I go off the road, I spend cash on my clothes
When I still have bills to pay
My skin isn't clear
Haven't spoke in a year
Cuz I still have fear I'm tryin' to overcome
My truths aren't right
My jeans are too tight
When I pick a fight I turn to run

All my flawz to see.
But you still love,
Love me.

You still love me
Even when I sin
I don't fit in
Cuz I've been burned
When I waited my turn
Don't act my age
I Don't want to
Call it a phase,
Call me taboo
Won't do as I'm told to believe
I wear my heart on my sleeve


Entitled "Flawz" By Caitlin Crosby.

There are still some that can't see this.It's either they are just stupidly blinded or immature.

It's true that all of us come in different shapes and sizes and we will never have the authority to make them feel inferior of themselves.

Be realistic for once.Some of us are matured.And even if you lied,we won't be stupid enough to take your word for it.

Mocking a person of what they are is mocking god's creation.
Have they ever asked to be born this way? No,they don't.
So what gives you the right to say about their flaw?

Sometimes this show how degraded the society has become.
Although we are all of the same kind.
Human.
Just of different sexuality.
And yet they mocked against them.

Made a wrong turn
Once or twice
Dug my way out
Blood and fire
Bad decisions
That’s alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, missundaztood
Miss “no way it’s all good”
It didn’t slow me down
Mistaken
Always second guessing
Underestimated
Look, I’m still around…

Pretty, pretty please
Don’t you ever, ever feel
Like your less than
Fuckin’ perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You’re fuckin’ perfect to me

You’re so mean
When you talk
About yourself
You are wrong
Change the voices
In your head
Make them like you
Instead
So complicated
Look how big you’ll make it
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game
It’s enough
I’ve done all i can think of
Chased down all my demons
see you same

Pretty, pretty please
Don’t you ever, ever feel
Like your less than
Fuckin’ perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing

You’re fuckin’ perfect to me
The world stares while i swallow the fear
The only thing i should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in lying and I tried tried
But we try too hard, it’s a waste of my time
Done looking for the critics, cuz they’re everywhere
They don’t like my genes, they don’t get my hair
Stringe ourselves and we do it all the time
Why do we do that?
Why do I do that?
Why do I do that?

Ooh, pretty pretty pretty,
Pretty pretty please don’t you ever ever feel
Like you’re less then, fuckin’ perfect
Pretty pretty please if you ever ever feel
Like you’re nothing you’re fuckin’ perfect, to me
You’re perfect
You’re perfect
Pretty, pretty please don’t you ever ever feel like you’re less then, fucking perfect
Pretty, pretty please if you ever ever feel like you’re nothing you’re fucking perfect to me

Entitled "Fucking perfect" by Pink.

There are some that is willing to argue.
Maybe their personality of mockery towards others is their flaw.
Maybe so.And it defines for what they are.A rotten mouth.

These type of people will never learn true happiness if they begin to contradict every single thing that's around them.

Just because it wasn't to their liking.
But hey!
Who the hell are they?

God?
King?
Queen?

None of the above.No matter how high their statuses like the boss of a company.They are still human.

I do hope that the society would stop focusing on the economy and reflect on themselves to improve one's attitude.

With a bad attitude,the economy would never strive.

Everyday is so wonderful
And suddenly, it's hard to breathe
Now and then, I get insecure
From all the pain,
I'm so ashamed

I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down, oh no
So don't you bring me down today

To all your friends you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness,
The pieces gone,
Left the puzzle undone,
Ain't that the way it is?

You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down, no, no
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes words can't bring you down, oh, no
So don't you bring me down today

No matter what we do
(no matter what we do)
No matter what we say
(no matter what we say)
We're the song inside the tune
(yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Full of beautiful mistakes
And everywhere we go
(and everywhere we go)
The sun will always shine
(sun will always, always shine)
But tomorrow we might awake
On the other side

'Cause we are beautiful,
No matter what they say
Yes, words won't bring us down, oh no
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring us down, oh no
So don't you bring me down today

Don't you bring me down today
Don't you bring me down...
Mmm, today


Entitled "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera.

And to those that knows their flaw,embrace it.

Your flaw is what defines you.

Never mock others of their flaw.

A Penny For My Thoughts

2011-03-04T00:00:00.013+08:00

Hey guys.It's nearly a month since the last post on "Valentine".

Let me update what's been going on with my life a little bit.

I've finished my assignment few days ago.
I finished two games in two days.
I was out of contact in the beginning of March.
School will be starting next month

And I am searching for something.

This could be the reason for my absence.It depends how you look at it.And one more thing.In the month of February,some people are just plain nasty.

Well,they really pisses me off and then just stay away from me.

I will be a little mean in this post.But who are the one that's mean? Me? or Them?

To Friend A
I hope that you could really kick that old habit of yours.I ain't stupid.If you want to amaze me with your vocabulary,do it right.

I'm a very tolerable and patient person.But when you pissed me off,you decided to cut my contact

Not everyone can tolerate your character.I won't blame you for cutting our line of communication.It's your choice.

To Friend B
It's been a while since we met.You have changed.Apparently,I am no longer worthy of you.Not even a friend.

Oh well.Who cares.It seems you are also cutting off that line.

To Friend C
I sympathize with you.However,I do hope you don't change.Nowadays you seemed to be out of contact.No longer within my reach.

To Friend D
You seemed like a competitor to me once.Now,you are also out of contact.

To Friend E
It's true you always dream of things beyond your reach.Literally.I'm not mocking you or anything.Sometimes we need to grab those that are within our reach first before thinking ahead.

It sounded like me.Anyway,you are not the person I used to know.Sometimes you are there,sometimes you are not.

To Friend F
I Love You. :) But you are coupled.

To Friend G
Don't be too concern of what people say about you.It's been great knowing you for a while but when we are out of the zone,you are barely contactable.

To Friend H
Don't misunderstand things. >.<

Your subtleties, they strangle me
I can't explain myself at all
And all the wants and all the needs
All I don't want to need at all

The walls start breathing, my mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone
A weight is lifted on this evening
I give the final blow

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight, it ends tonight

A falling star, at least I fall alone
I can't explain what you can explain
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing, my mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone
A weight is lifted on this evening
I give the final blow

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight, it ends tonight
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight, it ends tonight, it ends tonight

Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side

It's my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes
All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight, it ends tonight
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight, it ends tonight

It ends when darkness turns to light
It ends tonight, it ends tonight
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight, it ends tonight, it ends tonight

Tonight, inside
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight

Entitled "It Ends Tonight" by The All American Rejects.

Since our secondary days was long gone,it's time for a new beginning.In a tertiary institution.Before that,I will still remember some of my mates that somehow inspired me and taught me valuable lessons through their experiences.

Those were the days.
There are those dark days.Like some above.

March has started and before we know it,it would be April.
Ever since I had finished my assignment,one of my superior taught me a valuable lesson.A story.

In fact I do love stories.Although I don't hold a book myself.It's fascinating to know what would happen in the end and the values that we get at the end of it.

It's different than a ghost story.Come on,what value is there? Bravery? Cowardice?

It has been so long since we have talked
I hope that things are still the same
hoping they will never change
cause what we had can't be replaced
don't let our memories fade away
keep me in your heart for always

You made me believe
that I can do almost anything
stood right by me
through the tears through everything

I'll remember you,
and baby that's forever true
you're the one that I'll always miss
never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for you,
no matter what you're goin' through
in my heart you'll always be, forever baby
I'll remember you

I promise you I won't forget the times we shared, the tears we cried
You'll always be the sun in my sky
It may be fate that brings us back to meet again someday
Even though we go separate ways

You made me believe
that I can do almost anything
You stood right by me
through the tears through everything

I'll remember yooooou,
and baby that's forever true
you're the one that I'll always miss
never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for yooooou,
no matter what your goin' through
in my heart you'll always be, forever baby
I'll remember you

If the day should come when you need someone
(you know that i'll follow)
I will be there
Don't ever let there
be a doubt in your mind
'cause I'll remember you, you

I'll remember you,
and baby that's forever true
you're the one that I'll always miss
never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for you,
no matter what your goin' through
in my heart you'll always be, forever baby
I'll remember you

Forever baby, I'll remember you

Entitled "I'll remember you" by No Secrets.

Memories are meant to be kept.

Not destroyed nor thrown but cherished.

Even if we go our separate ways.

This month is a special month for me.I am on a journey.Only a friend of mine knows about it.That's because I'm still looking for answers and I do not want to give people statements without confidence.

There are several sayings about life.

It's a Game.
It's a Journey.
A Gamble.

For what I'm searching is something I myself am uncertain.It doesn't make sense when I think about it.Although I do wonder,do people like me go through this journey?

It's like a comet or love or eclipse.

It just come and go.
If you miss it,you miss it.
You can't ask it to wait.
The chances of finding it again is low.
And you won't know it is that thing that is trying to give a hint of it's presence.

I'm standing on a bridge
I'm waiting in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound

Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you

I'm looking for a place
I'm searching for a face
Is anybody here I know
'Cause nothing's going right
And everything's a mess
And no one likes to be alone

Isn't anyone trying to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you

Oh why is everything so confusing
Maybe I'm just out of my mind
Yea yea yea

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you

Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you

Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you
I'm with you...

Entitled "I'm With You" by Avril Lavigne.

Sometimes you feel nobody is finding you, but out there in this big world,there is.
Sometimes you feel you are finding somebody, but you keep on missing them.

It's a damn Cold Night.

Valentine Day

2011-02-13T20:22:00.017+08:00

Happy Valentine Day Everybody.Whether you are single with hope or madly in love,today is a day to feel special. There are some of us that are hoping to be asked by their crushes or their friends to be their valentine for the day and hoping it would be a memorable one. There are a few that would just treat it like every normal day. Or some that remembers about the significance about this day but is sitting at home to enjoy it.

But the true meaning of this day is the history behind it. The death of Saint Valentine who was secretly marrying couples.As a result,he was beaten to death by clubs by the emperor's order,Claudius II.It's a tragic tale but what he did was righteous.Although many men did not want to serve the army at that point of time,the emperor resorted to unreasonable measures like canceling engagement and marriages,banning exchange of gifts,playing love songs,dancing. Well who wouldn't be upset? Especially if people that are in love.

You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love longs
But I look around me and I see it isn't so
Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs

And what's wrong with that?
I'd like to know
'cause here I go again.
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you.
I can't explain
The feeling's plain to me
Say can't you see

What's wrong with that
I need to know
'cause here I go again.
I love you
I love you.
Love doesn't come in a minute
Sometimes it doesn't come at all.
I only know that when I'm in it

It isn't silly
No, it isn't silly
Love isn't silly at all.
How can I tell you about my loved one?
How can I tell you about my loved one?
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you.
I can't explain
The feeling's plain to me

Say can't you see?
Ah she gave me more
She gave it all to me

Say can't you see?

You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs.
But I look around me and I see it isn't so
Oh no.
Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs

And what's wrong with that?

Entitled "Silly Love Songs"

All of us are searching for love. Love ain't silly.And it's not stupid.Just like our life,love is also another journey.A journey that leads us to many opportunities.There are some that would want to take that path and there are some that don't. Even if there are some that did took that path,they were impatient and would tend to lost the things that they thought they would never had.It was as if they did not appreciate with what they have until it's gone.

There are some that would go down to their knees.. Not because they want to propose.. They wanted to get back together and would say hurtful things just to make people feel sorry for them.In time,they began to develop a skin thicker than before just to get it back. Is this what you called love?

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor
Reachin’ for the phone ’cause I can’t fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn’t call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don’t know how I can do without
I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey can’t stop looking at the door
Wishing you’d come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It’s a quarter after one, I’m a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn’t call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don’t know how I can do without
I just need you now

woah woaaah.
Guess I’d rather hurt than feel nothin’ at all

It’s a quarter after one I’m all alone and I need you now
And I said I wouldn’t call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don’t know how I can do without
I just need you now

I just need you now
Ooo, baby, I need you now

Entitled "Need You Now"

Ye.. (Love is pain)
Dedicated to my Brokenhearted People
One's old a flame.. Yes, Scream my name..
And I'm so sick of love songs
Yea I hate Damn Love song..
Memento of ours.. gojidmal!

nujun bam biga neryowa
nol deryowa
jojun giog kuthe dwichogyo na
no obshi jal sal su itdago
dajim hebwado ochol su obdago
mothanun suldo mashigo
sogtanun mam bamse chewobwado
shirho no obnun harunun giro biro
jebal idge hedallago
no obnun negen usumi boiji anha
nunmuljocha goiji anha
donun salgo shiphji anha
yodgathe yolbadge
ni senggage doraborilgod gathe
bogoshiphunde bol suga obde
modu kuthnatde
I'll be right there

I'm so sorry girl I love you, I just can't lie
Oh I was so wrong, I can't live without'cha
(Please listen to me!)
I'm so sorry girl I love you now I realize
Shoulda never let'cha go away - cuz now my life don't seem right
I'm so sorry girl I love you, I just can't lie
I'm so sorry... girl I love you...
I'm so sorry girl I love you now I see my...
thinkin' was all a big mistake, it makes me cry to this day

Gudel wiheso bullowatdon
ne modungol da bachin nore
saramdurun morugetjyo
nan honja gu amudo amudo molle
gure nega hetdon marun gojidmal
hollo namgyojin wetori
gu soge hemenun ne kori
jumoni soge kogidkogid
jobodun ibyorul hyanghan chogji
non odidnayo nol burunun subgwando
nan dallajille
ijen da usonomgilge

I'm so sorry girl I love you, I just can't lie
Oh I was so wrong, I can't live without'cha
(Please listen to me!)
I'm so sorry girl I love you now I realize
Shoulda never let'cha go away - cuz now my life don't seem right
I'm so sorry girl I love you, I just can't lie
I'm so sorry... girl I love you...
I'm so sorry girl I love you now I see my...
thinkin' was all a big mistake, it makes me cry to this day

Oh oh oh oh oh~ Tell me it's all in my head
Oh oh oh oh oh~ I try with every single beat of my heart
Drop that Babe..

No matter what my mind recalls
I see your face 'n I know, that'chu will always be there
Just wanna know how ya doin' these days
Didn't mean, to cause you any pain
I'm so deeply sorry

I'm so sorry girl I love you, I just can't lie
Oh I was so wrong, I can't live without'cha
(Please listen to me!)
I'm so sorry girl I love you now I realize
Shoulda never let'cha go away - cuz now my life don't seem right
I'm so sorry girl I love you, I just can't lie
I'm so sorry... girl I love you...
I'm so sorry girl I love you now I see my...
thinkin' was all a big mistake, it makes me cry to this day

Entitled "Lies"

Love blossoms.And sometimes we tend to try so hard that we forgot our own footing.Just to impress them but it wasn't enough.It's like trying to impress someone that you have no chance of.

Maybe we were blinded by love.The chances to get into the relationship is low but we humans can never be underestimated.

Who invented the light bulb when they thought the only possible source of light was only the sun?

It was a human that did it.Although there are different rumors about it,that is irrelevant.

[Lance:] It's gonna--be--me
[Justin:] Oh, yeah

[Justin:]
You might been hurt, babe
That ain't no lie
You've seen them all come and go, oh..
I remember you told me
That it made you believe in
No man, no cry
Maybe that's why

Every little thing I do
Never seems enough for you
You don't wanna lose it again
But I'm not like them
Baby, when you finally,
Get to love somebody
Guess what,
It's gonna be me..

[JC:]
You've got no choice, babe
I've got to move on, and you know
There ain't no time to waste
You're just too blind (too blind), too see
But in the end, ya know it's gonna be me
You can't deny
So just tell me why

Every little thing I do
Never seems enough for you
You don't wanna lose it again
But I'm not like them
Baby, when you finally
Get to love somebody (somebody)
Guess what (guess what)
It's gonna be me

[Lance:] It's gonna be me
[Justin:] Oh yeahhhhh...

[Justin:]
There comes a day
When I'll be the one, you'll see..
It's gonna-gonna-gonna-gonna-gonna

[Justin:] It's gonna be me

All that I do
Is not enough for you
Don't wanna lose it
But I'm not like that
When finally (finally)
You get to love
Guess what (guess what)

Every little thing I do
Never seems enough for you (for you babe)
You don't wanna lose it again (don't wanna lose it)
But I'm not like them
Baby, when you finally
Get to love somebody (love..)
Guess what (guess what)
It's gonna be me

Every little thing I do (ohh...)
Never seems enough for you
You don't wanna lose it again (don't wanna lose it)
But I'm not like them
Baby, when you finally (baby when you finally)
Get to love somebody
Guess what (guess what)

[Justin:] It's gonna be me..

Entitled "It's gonna be me"

When we see people,we judge them without knowing their character.Just because a person looks decent on the outside,it would not guarantee what's in them.Don't ever be simple-minded.You may think you can read people like an open book but it's never easy to do that because we can always twist our characters.

Some fall in love with a person's actions
Some fall in love with a person's charm
Some fall in love with a person's smile
Some fall in love with a person's eyes
Some fall in love with a person's body
Some fall in love because it was love at first sight
Some just wants to fall in love

Ironic much..

To fight for your true love that is already a lover of someone is quite an ugly sight.A few fight wouldn't hurt right? Money can't buy them. And your injuries too.

I sometimes do wonder,have people forgotten the true meaning of love?

It's the things that you do,
So physical,
It's the things that you say,
So flammable,
You know I can't resist,
Boy it's such a shame,
Do you belong to another,
I don't wanna hurt nobody,
But my heart just can't hold back,

It's the Way You Make Me Feel,
The way that you make me feel,
Spinning my world around,
Tell me how can I walk away,
I don't care what they say,
I'm loving you anyway,
It's the way you make me feel

I'm gonna make you mine,
It's not impossible,
Got to let you know,
I'm irresistible,
Baby can't you see,
You're the one for me,
But you belong to another,
I don't wanna hurt nobody,
But my heart just can't hold back,

It's the Way You Make Me Feel,
The way that you make me feel,
Spinning my world around,
Tell me how can I walk away,
I don't care what they say,
I'm loving you anyway,
It's the way you make me feel

When I look into your eyes,
Everytime you smile at me,
Oh I go weak inside,
Baby I just can't hide my love,

It's the Way You Make Me Feel,
The way that you make me feel,
Spinning my world around,
Tell me how can I walk away,
I don't care what they say,
I'm loving you anyway,
It's the way you make me feel

Entitled "The way you make me feel"

There are often restrictions in love.By who? Parents.There are also friends.Friends that are against of love.It could be their ex. It could be they dislike them due to several reasons. It's typical of parents to say no to love.Study comes first.And that is what I would agree too.Not everyone would agree with me. Because love is something that come and go and if you miss it, it's gone for good.And I couldn't care less.

Sometimes there are some that purposely flirt with other people just to make their crushes jealous.

Ever heard of the green-eyed monster?

That means jealousy is overcoming you and you will lost your mind.It's a heartbreak to be play with.

Baby, do you really wanna hurt me?
Why are you doin’ this to me?
Why?

너의 다른 남자들 얘기 안 좋다는 행실들 얘기
모르는 척 못 들은 척 넘어가 보려고 해봐도

자 꾸 치근대는 술버릇 내 친구에게 짓는 웃음
고치라고 그만하라고 아무리 너에게 말해도

미안하다는 말은 다 그 때뿐 변하겠다는 말도 다 그 때뿐
내 가슴 아파 아파 아픈 걸 알면서도 자꾸만 반복되는 걸

내가 잘 잘 잘못했어 니 말이 달 달 달콤해서
맨날 말 말 말로만 날 날 날로 날 갖고 노는 걸 몰랐어

baby you’re breaking my heart. baby you’re hurting my heart.
그만두고 싶은데 잘못 된 걸 아는데 다시 니 곁에 돌아가

RAP
baby you & i 싸구려 유행가 속으론 우는데 억지로 웃는 광대
baby you & i 싸구려 유행가 속으론 우는데

미안하다는 말은 다 그 때뿐 변하겠다는 말도 다 그 때뿐
내 가슴 아파 아파 아픈 걸 알면서도 자꾸만 반복되는 걸

내가 잘 잘 잘못했어 니 말이 달 달 달콤해서
맨날 말 말 말로만 날 날 날로 날 갖고 노는 걸 몰랐어

baby you’re breaking my heart. baby you’re hurting my heart.
그만두고 싶은데 잘못 된 걸 아는데 다시 니 곁에 돌아가

RAP
삐끄덕 엇나간 내몸과 맘 자존심도 없는 바보라 난
사랑에 속고도 눈물을 닦고 이럼 안되는데 네게로 가
니가 놀다 버린 장난감 이란 사실에 기분이 참 난감
근대 왜 왜 왜 왜 난 오늘도 니 앞에서 웃는 광대

내가 잘 잘 잘못했어 니 말이 달 달 달콤해서
맨날 말 말 말로만 날 날 날로 날 갖고 노는 걸 몰랐어

baby you’re breaking my heart. baby you’re hurting my heart.
그만두고 싶은데 잘못 된 걸 아는데 다시 니 곁에 돌아가
Why are you doin’ this to me?
Why?

neoui dareun namjadeul yaegi an jotaneun haengsildeul yaegi
moreuneun cheok mot deureun cheok neomeoga boryeogo haebwado

ja kku chigeundaeneun sulbeoreut nae chinguege jitneun useum
gochirago geumanharago amuri neoege malhaedo

mianhadaneun mareun da geu ttaeppun byeonhagetdaneun maldo da geu ttaeppun
nae gaseum apa apa apeun geol almyeonseodo jakkuman banbokdoeneun geol

naega jal jal jalmotaesseo ni mari dal dal dalkomhaeseo
maennal mal mal malloman nal nal nallo nal gatgo noneun geol mollasseo

baby you’re breaking my heart. baby you’re hurting my heart.
geumandugo sipeunde jalmot doen geol aneunde dasi ni gyeote doraga

RAP
baby you & i ssaguryeo yuhaengga sogeuron uneunde eokjiro utneun gwangdae
baby you & i ssaguryeo yuhaengga sogeuron uneunde

mianhadaneun mareun da geu ttaeppun byeonhagetdaneun maldo da geu ttaeppun
nae gaseum apa apa apeun geol almyeonseodo jakkuman banbokdoeneun geol

naega jal jal jalmotaesseo ni mari dal dal dalkomhaeseo
maennal mal mal malloman nal nal nallo nal gatgo noneun geol mollasseo

baby you’re breaking my heart. baby you’re hurting my heart.
geumandugo sipeunde jalmot doen geol aneunde dasi ni gyeote doraga

RAP
ppikkeudeok eotnagan naemomgwa mam jajonsimdo eomneun babora nan
sarange sokgodo nunmureul dakkgo ireom andoeneunde negero ga
niga nolda beorin jangnangam iran sasire gibuni cham nangam
geundae wae wae wae wae nan oneuldo ni apeseo utneun gwangdae

naega jal jal jalmotaesseo ni mari dal dal dalkomhaeseo
maennal mal mal malloman nal nal nallo nal gatgo noneun geol mollasseo

baby you’re breaking my heart. baby you’re hurting my heart.
geumandugo sipeunde jalmot doen geol aneunde dasi ni gyeote doraga

I did wrong
your words were sweet that
i didn't know you were playing around with me everyday

Baby, do you really wanna hurt me?
Why are you doing this to me?
Why?

your stories of other men your stories of bad behaviors
I try to ignore it I try to not hear it and just go

Your bad drunk behavior, the way you smile at my friend
I try to tell you to fix it over and over

saying sorry is all because of you saying that i'll change is all because of you
I know my heart is aching but it keeps repeating

I did wrong
your words were sweet that
i didn't know you were playing around with me everyday

baby you're breaking my heart, baby you're breaking my heart
i want to stop i know it's wrong but I go back to your side again

baby you and i, cheap popular song, crying inside, an entertainer forcing a smile
baby you and i, cheap popular song, crying inside,

saying sorry is all because of you saying that i'll change is all because of you
I know my heart is aching but it keeps repeating

I did wrong
your words were sweet that
i didn't know you were playing around with me everyday

baby you're breaking my heart, baby you're breaking my heart
i want to stop i know it's wrong but I go back to your side again

my cracked and astray body, the fool i am without a heart and pride
being tricked by love yet wiping my tears, i know i shouldn't do this but i go to you
the truth of me being your toy that you played with and tossed away gets my feelings to be severe
but why why why why am i again an entertainer smiling in front of you

I did wrong
your words were sweet that
i didn't know you were playing around with me everyday

baby you're breaking my heart, baby you're breaking my heart
i want to stop i know it's wrong but I go back to your side again

Entitled "I did Wrong"

Yeah.I've felt that before.That green-eyed monster did overcame me because I was envious.No Jealous.In the end,I just let it go and I know that I wouldn't stand a chance because their relationship have taken to new heights.

What else can I do but only just dream and eventually they were out of my sight,no longer in contact.

I Will Miss You.

2011-01-30T12:46:00.007+08:00

Hello Readers.Today's post is a personal note of myself.As we all know, the posting was announced few days ago.And it seems that we are really parting our ways.

Our enemies would become our best friends
Our best friends would become our enemies
Our normal friend would become distant
A stranger would become our friend or even more

It's sad that we have to decide our future by these courses in different polytechnics.And also giving up our friendship at the same time.Well maybe we could look at it in two ways.

Letting go of our old friends and finding new one
Reconnecting with them within the next three years and also find some new one.
Do some closure without socializing.

Friends are hard to find.Wait.Who am I kidding? Apparently they are. Friends that will be there for you when you are down..
In life,we do need friends if not family.At least someone that would support us.All of us needed help because we are not created as a being that could do everything,possessing every possible skill that exist in the world.

Each help is a gratitude that was offered and we should appreciate it by giving a word of thank you at the very least.We will go a long way if we have the right support to achieve our dreams.

A side note.Many of you are thinking of retaking your O Levels while enrolled in a tertiary institution.I don't really advise you to do that because to ace in an examination,we need two things.One is the fundamentals of the subject and the other one is concentration.Concentration is essential.

By committing to take another major examination while we are still trying to adapt to the new environment would put us in a tight spot.

Pressure.
Stress.
Since we know where we are posted.In a month time we would be receiving a letter from the respective institution,informing us about the details as a freshman to their school.

I will miss someone.I have already foreseen the outcome of the result.Although I wish our friendship could have been something more.

For all of the time that i tried for your smile
For making you think that i was worth the while
So your love love love love love would be mine
For sending you flowers and holding your hand
That no one was there to take a stand
But then love love love made us blind

And I’m so sorry that I hurt you
Sorry that I fell through
Sorry i was falling in love with you
I’m sorry that it came true
But sorry doesn’t turn back time

For all that i have done to you
I wish that i could make it right
So sorry that i loved you
Sorry that i needed you
Sorry that i hold you tight

And I’m So sorry for...
Making you love me and saying goodbye
For being the one that taught you how to cry
It was love love love and it passed us by

For giving you every thing that you dreamed
For taking it back when i fled the scene
sorry love,for wasting your time

And I’m so sorry that I hurt you
Sorry that I fell through
Sorry i was falling in love with you
I’m sorry that it came true
But sorry doesn’t turn back time

For all that i have done to you
I wish that i could make it right
I’m so sorry that i loved you
Sorry that i needed you
Sorry that i hold you tight

And apology now after all of this time
Won’t make my difference tonight
But I’m hoping I’m Sorry will open your mind
To love love love love in your life

Sorry that i hurt you
Sorry that i fell through
Sorry i was falling in love with you
I’m sorry that it came true
But sorry doesn’t turn back time

For all that i have done to you
I wish that i could make it right
So sorry that i hurt you
Sorry that i fell through
Sorry i was falling in love with you
I’m sorry that it came true
But sorry do can’t turn back time

I’m sorry that i loved you
I’m sorry that i hurt you
I’m so sorry that i loved you
I’m sorry that i hurt you
Sorry that i loved you

Entitled " Sorry That I loved you"

[GD]
Tonaga
Yeah, finally I realize, that I'm nothing with you
I was so wrong, forgive me

[SR]
Ah~~

[TOP/GD]
Pado-chorom buswejin ne mam
Baram-chorom hundur-rinun ne mam
Yongi-chorom sarajin ne sarang
Munsin-chorom jiwe-jijiga anha
Hansuman tang-i kojira shi-jyo~o~o
Ne gasum-sogen monjiman sah-ijyo~o (Say goodbye)

[GD]
Nega obsin dan harudo mos sal-goman gata-don na
Sengak-gwanun daruge-do gurok-jorok honjajal sara
Bogo-sipdago bullo-bwado non amu dedab-obsjanha
Ho-dwen gide golo-bwado ijen soyong-obsjanha

[TOP]
Ne yope inun gu saram-i mwon-ji hokshi nol ul-lijin anunji
Gude nega bo-igin hanunji bolso sag da ijo-nunji
Jog-jongdwe daga-gagi-jocha malul-gol su jocha obso ete-ugo
Na holo gin bamul jise-ujyo subeg-bon jiwe-nejyo

[CHORUS]
Dola-bojiman-go tona-gara to narul chaji-malgo sara-gara
Norul sarang-hetgie hu-he-obgie jo-atdon kiog-man gajyo-gara
Gurok-jorok chama-bulman-he gurok-jorok gyon-dyo-nelman-e
Non gurol-surok hengbok-heya-dwe haru-haru mudyo-jyoga-ne

[GD]
Oh, girl, I cry cry
You're, my all (Say goodbye)

[SR]
Girul goda no-wana uri maju-chinda-hedo
Mot bonchog hagoso gudero gadon-gil ga-jwo

[DS]
Jakuman ye sengak-i to-oru-myon amado
Nado mule gudel chaja-galji-do mula
[GD]
Non nul gu saram-gwa hengbok-hage non nul nega darun mam an moge
Non nul jagun milyon-do an namke-kum jal jine-jwo na boran-dushi
[TOP]
Non nul jo hanul-gati ha-yage dun gurum-gwado gat-i sapara-ge
Non nul gure-ge uso-jwo amu il obsdus-i
CHORUS
Dola-bojiman-go tona-gara to narul chaji-malgo sara-gara
Norul sarang-hetgie hu-he-obgie jo-atdon kiog-man gajyo-gara
Gurok-jorok chama-bulman-he gurok-jorok gyon-dyo-nelman-e
Non gurol-surok hengbok-heya-dwe haru-haru mudyo-jyoga-ne
[DS/SR]
Narul tona-so mam pyonhe-jigil (Narul itgo-so sala-gajwo)
Gu nunmul-un da marul-teni, yeah (Haru-haru jini-myon)
[TY]
Charari manaji anha-dora-myon dol apul-tende, hmm~
Yong-wonhi hamke-haja-don gu yagsog ijen
Chuog-e mudo-dogil bare baby nol we-he gido-he
CHORUS
Dola-bojiman-go tona-gara to narul chaji-malgo sara-gara
Norul sarang-hetgie hu-he-obgie jo-atdon kiog-man gajyo-gara
Gurok-jorok chama-bulman-he gurok-jorok gyon-dyo-nelman-e
Non gurol-surok hengbok-heya-dwe haru-haru mudyo-jyoga-ne

[GD]
Oh, girl, I cry cry
You're, my all, say goodbye bye
Oh, my love, don't lie lie
You're, my heart, say goodbye

TRANSLATION

Leave
Yeah, Finally I realize that I am nothing without you
I was so wrong, forgive me
Ah ah ah ah~

[Verse 1; GD + TOP]
My broken heart like a wave
My shaken heart like a wind
My heart vanished like smoke
It can't be removed like a tattoo
I sigh deeply as if a ground is going to cave in
Only dusts are piled up in my mind
(say goodbye)
[GD Rap]

Yeah, I thought I wouldn't be able to live even one day without you
But somehow I managed to live on (longer) than I thought
You don't answer anything as I cry out I miss you?
I hope for a vain expectation but now it's useless

[TOP Rap]
What is it about that person next to you, did he make you cry?
Dear can you even see me, did you forget completely?
I am worried, I feel anxiety because I can't get close nor try to talk to you
I spend long nights by myself, erasing my thoughts a thousand times

[Chorus]
Don't look back and leave
Don't find me again and live (on)
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way
I can stand in some way
You should be happy if you are like this
I become dull day by day (eh eh eh eh)
Oh girl I cry, cry
You're my all, say goodbye?

[Verse 2; SR + DS]
If we pass by each other on the street
Act like you didn't see me and go the way you were walking to
If you keep thinking about our past memories
I might go look for you secretly

[GD] Always be happy with him, (so) I won?t ever get a different mind
Even smallest regret won?t be left out ever
Please live well as if I should feel jealous

[TOP] You should always be like that bright sky, like that white cloud
Yes, you should always smile like that as if nothing happened
[Repeat Chorus]

[Bridge; DS + SR]
I hope your heart feels relieved
Please forget about me and live (on)
Those tears will dry completely
As time passes by

[YB] It would've hurt less if we didn't meet at all (mm)
Hope you will bury our promise of being together forever baby
I pray for you
[Repeat Chorus]

Oh girl I cry, cry
You're my all, say goodbye, bye
Oh my love don't lie, lie
You're my heart, say goodbye

Entitled " Haru Haru"

Since both of us are posted to different institution,our relationship would become stagnant.Overtime it would be distant.And by the end of our education,we no longer meant anything to each other.Never meeting each other face to face once more.

Just to pursue our education.Our passion.We have to give up things that we never thought we would.We used to say:

We will be friends forever
Till death do us apart.

Don't forget me.
Call you later.
Text Me.
See you tomorrow.

Okay the second sentence sounded like a wedding vow. Anyway,I will miss you.To my eyes,you are something special even if you say you are not.

I will let you go even if I can't live without you.

If we really love a person,we should let them go.

And only adore them from afar.

Biting our tongues with regrets.

Wishing that we were with them again.

Next Post "Valentine."

Journey

2011-01-24T21:14:00.008+08:00

I have been absent for quite sometime and the reason is I just can't find a topic to blog about.Who would ever thought that a topic entitled "Journey" was just one of it that should be blog.

The result was release two weeks ago and few more days we will be assigned to our new tertiary institution.Good times always come to an end.

We have all come so far together and now is the time to be apart.Some are friends for a year,two or five.And there are some that is longer than that.Nevertheless,new friendships can always be form in the future and it depends if we mix with the right people to get a firm stand on our future.

The days that we wore the same uniform.
Took the same subjects.
Had Physical Education as a class.
Laugh our heads off together in a cliques.
Doing things together.

Had disputes over trivial things.
Broke the school rules.
Helping one another.

All of us wanted to express ourselves.Our feelings.

You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh, I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And darkness still inside you
Make you feel so small

But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors,
True colors, are beautiful,
Like a rainbow.

(Ah ah ah...)

Show me a smile then,
Don't be unhappy,
Can't remember when I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there

And I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors,
True colors, are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

Ah ah ah ah...

Spoken: Can't remember when I last saw you laughing

If this world makes you crazy
You've taken all you can bear
You call me up (Call me up! )
Because you know I'll be there (Know I'll be there)

And I'll see your true colors
Shining through (I see them shining through! )
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you (That's why I love you! )
So don't be afraid (Afraid) to let them show
Your true colors, true colors
I see your true colors shining through (Yeah! )
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid (Afraid) to let them show
Your true colors
True colors, true colors
True colors, are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

Entitled "True Colors"

There are some of us that have decided to continue studying and some chose to work instead.I do hope people won't regret their choice as that result that we took two weeks ago is constructing the next path of our life.To our future stable careers.

Nevertheless,we should never stop believing that we can achieve our ambition.We might face some hindrance right now preventing us from reaching our goal but we should never tell ourselves that we would stop believing.

Just a small town girl, livin' in a lonely world
She took the midnight train goin' anywhere
Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit
He took the midnight train goin' anywhere

A singer in a smokey room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlight people, living just to find emotion
Hiding, somewhere in the night

Working hard to get my fill,
everybody wants a thrill
Payin' anything to roll the dice,
just one more time
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on

(chorus)

Don't stop believin'
Hold on to the feelin'
Streetlight people

Entitled "Don't stop believing"

Our fighting spirit lies in ourselves.And we construct that path with our two bare hands.

If we can dream it,we could achieve it.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high,
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.

Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly.
Birds fly over the rainbow.
Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?

Entitled "Over the Rainbow"

I do hope everyone would be successful in their future endeavor as we can always keep on trying even if we fail.The human mind is something that should never be underestimated.

Optimism is key but being pessimistic once in a while is fine too.Just be sure when you must stop to see what lies ahead of you.

When a door is close,another one is open with other opportunities.

Result Day.

2011-01-10T11:33:00.004+08:00

Hello Readers.Today is the release of the GCE 'O' Level Result.There will be two segment of this post.The Before and the After.

Now,we are all waiting patiently for it.Although I can't take it any longer.I do wish they push up the timing like now.I hate suspense.Today's result would determine where we go.

Many would say we get what we deserve.Some heard of this saying, "We reap what we sow"

Well,I am trying to kill time.My job did somehow manage to kill some time off the holidays.I can't imagine sitting at home doing nothing.

I do hope everyone will get the result that they wanted although I had heard some rumors about it.Although we will be apart after this year,our friendship would remain strong or so I've seen.Sometimes friendship are easily shaken up by trivial things but fear not,friends that regards each other as one would never face such obstacles.

I don't know what to post. I will post my result if its' good.

Signing Off For Now.

Gamble

2011-01-04T14:17:00.007+08:00

Hello Readers.It's already the 4th of January.Few more days would be the release of our result,the GCE 'O' Level Examination.This topic was suppose to be posted in January 1st but due of my body was feeling fatigue and sore, I had to postpone it to today.Well,I had a day job on that day.With bruises on my hand that is in the recovering process.

We have graduated.We have come so far.Now is the time for us to part our ways.It's fun while it last.Now is another milestone to another world.A world that would determines our future.

Today's topic would be "Gamble."

Many of us never really realize that we did this often.Let me give you guys a scenario.

Friend A:Hey.Wanna Go Out?
Friend B:No Thanks.

Friend A:Why? Go Out Please.
Friend B:No Thanks. Seriously.

Friend A:!!! Next time I won't ask you out anymore.
Friend B:Mmm..Fine

That's a first scenario.The next one.

Friend A:Hey.Do you think this is cute?
Friend B:Uhh.Yeah.I guess.

Friend A:You wanna buy it with me? We will have a matching pair!
Friend B:Yeah sure..Pfft..

We gamble in this scenario.The thing that was at stake was relationship with our friends.If we give in,it would bond us even closer.If we back out,it would become distant.Sometimes we are in a tight spot to decide between who to choose to go with or the right choice.As such,we tend to struggle.And sometimes we may say the wrong things due to frustration.

All of us have limits of frustration.And some really can't demand so much from another person when they are in a tight spot.You may want people to agree with you or go with your ways but you never spare a thought for their opinions,views and feelings towards it.

If they do not want to go,they would decline politely.Being persistent isn't really good either in such cases.Eventually they might say yes but they would not enjoy the outing,would they?

I tend to get depress as time goes by.It would be like mood-swing.Sometimes,I want that someone special to be with me but I am able to control that urge because I know the limits.It's the same.We must control our emotions and feelings and not allow it to get the best of us.No one would love to wreck relationship right?

Well.Since it's January.Let me post my New Year Resolution.

To have some meat in me.
To find that special someone.
To be loved.
To forget the past.
Initiate my 3 Year Life Plan.

I know that this might not happen but is it wrong for a person to keep dreaming?
I love to dream and it just motivates me to look forward to tomorrow and forget the yesterday.

(Sam Tsui)

I was thinkin about you, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes; it was only just a dream.
(Christina Grimmie)
I travel back, down that road.
Will you come back? No one knows.
I realize, it was only just a dream.

(Sam Tsui)

I was at the top and I was like I’m in the basement.
Number one spot and now you found your own replacement.
I swear now that I can't take it, knowing somebody's got my baby.
And now you ain't around, baby I can't think.
I shoulda put it down. Shoulda got that ring.
Cuz I can still feel it in the air.
See your pretty face run my fingers through your hair.

My lover, my life. My baby, my wife.
You left me, I'm tied.
Cuz I know that it just ain't right.

(Together)
I was thinkin about you, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Will you come back? No one knows.
I realize, it was only just a dream.

(Christina Grimmie)
When I'm ridin I swear I see your face at every turn.
I'm tryin to get my usher on, but I can let it burn.
And I just hope you'll know you're the only one I yearn for.
No wonder I'll be missing when I'll learn?

Didn't give you all my love, I guess now I got my payback.
Now I'm in the club thinkin all about you baby.

Hey, you were(was) so easy to love. But wait, I guess that love wasn't enough.

I'm goin through it every time that I'm alone.
And now i'm wishin that she'd pick up the phone.
But she made a decision that she wanted to move one.
Cuz I was wrong...

(Together)
And I was thinkin about you, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Will you come back? No one knows.
I realize, it was only just a dream.

If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
And now they're gone and you're wishing you could give them everything.

Ohhh, if you ever loved somebody put your hands up.

(if you ever loved somebody put your hands up.)
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.

(if you ever loved somebody put your hands up.)
And now they're gone and you wish you could give them everything.

I was thinkin about you, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes (open my eyes); it was only just a dream (it's just a dream).
I travel back (travel back) (i travel back), down that road (down the road)(down the road).
Will you come back? No one knows (no one knows).
I realize, it was only just a dream (No, no, no...).

And I was thinkin about you, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes (open my eyes) (open my eyes); it was only just a dream (it's just a.. it's just a dream).
So I travel back, down that road.
Will you come back? No one knows.
I realize (i realize), it was only just a dream
(baby, it was only just... it was only just a dream)

Nooo... Ohhh...

It was only just a dream.

This song was originally sung by Nelly but I prefer another version.It's on the sidebar.The one that sing this was Sam Tsui and Christina Grimmie with the instrument played by Kurt. You can check their other videos in Youtube.It's called "Just a Dream"

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh, uh oh

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little, cold finger, I've
Never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand, there's a
Boy here in town says he'll, love my forever
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh (uh, oh)
The ballad of a dove (uh, oh)
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when your really gonna need them, oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls

This song entitled 'If I die Young" by the Band Perry. Our life is short.There are illness that could even shorten a person's life.We should live it to the fullest.And we should be calm.Sometimes when people die,their words would finally be understood by the living.

I will keep dreaming and waiting for that right one.

Tranquil & Serenity.A Gamble.

Happy New Year

2011-01-01T23:10:00.004+08:00

Happy New Year guys! Another year has pass and now we are in the year of 2011.I hope that you guys had your fun during the celebration of the new year.I just celebrated it at home.Time to plan your new year resolution once more.

Merry Christmas/Love

2010-12-25T22:36:00.007+08:00

Ho ho ho.Merry Christmas to my readers.This is the first time I'm posting such post as I never did before in my previous year.I would like to wish everyone Merry Christmas or in Spanish,Feliz Navidad.I recently heard it from a song on youtube.

Youtube.A source of entertainment with a few click of a button and those characters on the search box.Honestly,today would be a long post as I've decided to merge two topics into one entry.I would divide them with pictures.Look at those Christmas tree above.People decorate it with their heart to make the tree stand out.

So,what does Christmas means to me?

It's a day where people get together and have a decent meal with their loved one.There are some that exchange presents.There are some that exchange greetings.It's also a day for forgiveness.And of course for christian it would mark another significant milestone.

I'm not going to type anything serious in this topic because it's christmas!

For the first song,we'll have "Last Christmas" by Glee.

Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance but you still catch my eye
Tell me baby
Do you recognize me
Well, it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me
Merry Christmas, I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying 'I love you', I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kiss me now, I know you'd fool me again

Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

A crowded room and friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice
My God, I thought you were someone to rely on
Me, I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A girl on a cover but you tore her apart
Maybe this year
Maybe this year I'll give it to someone special

Cause last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

And last Christmas
And this year
It won't be anything like, anything like

Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

First time,I heard this song was on Glee.That show does bring back some old tunes into our times.They did change some parts of the song like the beat,tempo etc.

Celebrating Christmas is to be with your loved one.It would be lonely to be celebrating it alone.It's a season where we get together and enjoy till our hearts content! We might not get the one we loved to celebrate it with.Instead we should give it to someone who needs that love and warmth of a person.

No matter who we are or where we come from.Holidays are meant to be celebrated by everyone regardless of their race,religion and Social-economic background and of course even the sick.

I do pray that everyone that is sick would be well as I've heard that a flu is flowing around in Singapore.I'm down with one and am on the recovery process.My voice is horrid!

Back to the point.There are people that believe in Santa Claus.It's not wrong to believe in it because we all believe in something or someone to keep us motivated.Speaking of which, I saw a mascot of Santa Claus yesterday.I didn't get a snapshot of it as I was laughing my heads off.It came to us and shook hands with my parents and little sister.I would say it would be about 8 to 9 feet tall but it was adorable.We were buying grocery.Who knew Santa Claus would be there too!

Merry Christmas guys!

Well.Another topic.Love.

What does it feel to be in love?
How would you know if that person is the right one for you?

I've seen plenty of people around me that shows such affection.From parents to friends and even kids.There are many type of love.

One sided.A person that had a crush towards another person but that person didn't notice or reject immediately.There are reasons to why such rejection occurs.They did not have the same feelings or they feel that there are other things in life that is of a priority to them than relationship.

Sometimes to confess your love to that person.It would take a lot of courage and in the end when you are rejected you would feel desperate like as if your world is crumbling down.

The worst case is.When you are outside with your friends,you see your crush with another person.You may say it might be a misunderstanding but what if they did things that are within the limits of a couple relationship.

Two sided love.This kind of love exist almost everywhere.They are happy.And would commit their life with each other.There's nothing to talk about.They quarrel every now and then so it's usual for humans to quarrel.We ain't perfect anyway.

Love Triangle.This type of love is the most interesting one.There are three people that involved with two falling with the same person.They would fight and quarrel just to impress.I find this pathetic.Well, that's me.There are some that would share between it equally.That's good I guess.Without competition,it really depend on luck then.

Short-Term Love.People would toy with other people's feelings.They would say they accept to be in a relationship with them but over time they would get tired of it and just break up.It is either they want another person as they felt that it wasn't really suited for them or they grew tired of spending on things in a relationship.

Distant Love.This love is quite romantic.They fell in love through the internet.One from another country while the other is from another region.That's quite cool.This love is hard to keep track because of the different timezone and the things that we do might just clash.

Love at First Sight.Do you guys believe in this? Anyway,it's falling in love just by glancing to another person.It's somewhat related to a one sided love and if they accept it would become a two sided love.Cute? I guess.

No Love.Well,it just say everything.You don't really feel attracted to anyone.I don't think that's wrong as the time is not right yet.

Well that sums up what I know about love.Love exist in many different forms.Do take note that we do not have the right to judge people relationship due to our personal feelings and emotions or even hatred towards them.This is a free world.As in,they can love as they like.We do not have the right to control them.

There are some that you don't usually see everyday.Those type of love are unique.Remember the entry about Fireworks? We are unique in our own way and do not have the right to bring it down.

My opinion.I feel that I belong in no love.I am the type to not fall in love with people easily and vice versa.Oh well.I would just wait for the right time.Even if I don't get a soul-mate.It doesn't matter.Love could never be rush and sometimes it just doesn't make sense.

Next Song entitled "When the Door Closes" by B2ST.It was recently released.It's a nice song.Do support them.

마지막 인살 내게 건네기 전에
majimak insal naege gŏnnegi jŏne
Before saying your last farewell to me

아주 잠깐만 멈춰서 날 보며 웃어줘
aju jamkkanman mŏmchwosŏ nal bomyŏ usŏjwo
Please stop for just a moment and look at me while smiling

잠시나마 나에게 빛을 준 네게
jamshinama na’ege bichŭl jun nege
Stay for just a bit, you who had given light to me

끝이라도 눈물 따윈 보이기 싫어서 나
kkŭtirado nunmul ttawin boigi shirhŏsŏ na
Even if it’s the end, I don’t want to show you my tears, so you

(너에게 웃음 지으며) 고맙다고 행복한 추억 내게 만들어줘서
(nŏege usŭm jiŭmyŏ) gomabdago haengbokhan chuŏk naege mandŭrŏjwosŏ
(While putting on a smile for you) I say thank you, for making these happy memories

(어색한 미소를 비추며) 널 이렇게 보내지만
(ŏsaekhan misorŭl bichumyŏ) nŏl irŏhke bonaejiman
(Shining with an awkward smile) I’m sending you away like this but

[Chorus]
이 문이 닫히면 네 모습이 사라지면
i muni dathimyŏn ne mosŭbi sarajimyŏn
When this door closes, when the image of you disappears

하루를 눈물로 살겠지만 너와의 추억 때문에 혼자 남아
harurŭl nunmullo salgetjiman nŏwaye chuŏk ttaemune honja nama
I’ll probably spend the day in tears, because of the memories with you, I’m left alone

행복을 더 바랄게
haengbogŭl dŏ baralge
I wish that you’ll be happier

나 지금 이 손을 놓치면
na jigŭm i sonŭl nohchimyŏn
When I let go of this hand now

이제 또 웃을 일 없겠지만 다른 사람의 품에서
ije tto usŭl il ŏbtgetjiman darŭn sarame pumesŏ
I’ll no longer have any reason to smile but when I see you smiling
courtesy of TopLyrics.Info
웃고 있을 널 보며 나 웃어 볼게
utgo issŭl nŏl bomyŏ na usŏ bolge
in another’s embrace, I’ll try to smile
[/Chorus]

그 사람과의 길던 인연의 끝에
gŭ saramgwaye gildŏn inyŏne kkŭte
At the end of your long relationship with him

서서 기다리고 있던 나란 걸 알아줘
sŏsŏ gidarigo itdŏn naran gŏl arajwo
Please know that it’ll be me standing there, waiting

잠시라도 그 사람 생각이 날 때
jamshirado gŭ saram saenggaki nal ttae
Even if you ever get flashes of memories with him

그때보다 웃게 할 널 약속해보지만 너
gŭttaeboda utge hal nŏl yaksokhaebojiman nŏ
I’ll try to promise that I’ll make you smile even more than those times but you

(나에게 눈물 보이며) 힘들다고 그 사람 곁에 이별만 남겨줘서
(na’ege nunmul boimyŏ) himdŭldago gŭ saram gyŏte ibyŏlman namgyŏjwosŏ
(If you show me your tears) And say that it’s difficult, because there is only farewell by that person’s side

(멍하니 네 손 잡으며) 널 이렇게 붙잡지만
(mŏnghani ne son jabŭmyŏ) nŏl irŏhke butjapjiman
(While I hold onto your hand with a blank expression) I’m holding onto you like this but

[Chorus]

마음이 약해져서 다시 널 잡기 전에
maŭmi yakhaejyŏsŏ dashi nŏl japgi jŏne
My heart has become weak, before I can be with you again

눈물 흘릴 날 보지 않게 돌아보지 말고가
nunmul hŭllil nal boji anhge doraboji malgoga
So that you won’t see me while my tears come out, please don’t look back and just go

[Chorus]

이 문이 닫히면
i muni dathimyŏn
When this door closes

Sometimes I do feel like giving up everything.It's hard to let go isn't it.

To those people that have no one to celebrate Christmas with.This song is for you.

ROMANIZATION

ima doko ko de dare ka ga
tsurai kimochi de
hitori kiri
nemurenu yoru wo
sugoshite iru no nara
sono kokoro ni
hikari sasu made
frisau de ireru kara
ano melody and harmony and love

dare ka no tame ni
bokura wa koko de
chiisana koto shika dekinai keredo
ichibyou dake demo sekai jou ni
namida tomete
egao ni natte kureru no naro

aishi tsuzukeru yo
aruki tsuzukeru yo
afureru omoi ga
todoku to shinjite
umareru mae kara
bokura wa deatte
yume wo sagashite ta
sonna ni ga suru yo

kirameku oto ni
susumere ru toki
kanashisugite
wasurete irareta
melody and harmony
itsumo soba ni ite
boku ni yuuki to kibou wo kureta ne

kimi ni arigatou
zutto arigatou
kagayaku omoi wo
kimi no okuri mono
kase aeru koto
mitsume aeru koto
hitori janai koto
oshiete kureta yo

kasane au ai wo
melody ni nosete
tsutaete yukitai
itsumo itsumade mo

kono basho kara
aishi tsuzukeru yo
aruki tsuzukeru yo
afureru omoi ga
todoku to shinjite

kemi ni arigatou
zutto arigatou
kagayau omoi wo
kimi no okuri mono

kasane au ai wo
melody ni nosete
tsutaete yukitai
itsumo itsumade mo

lalala~~~

ima doko ka de dare ka ga
tsurai kimochi de
hitori kiri
nemurenu yoru wo
sugoshite iru no nara
sono kokoro ni
hikari sasu made
furisou de ireru kara
like a melody and harmony in love

TRANSLATION

right now, somewhere, someone
is in pain
is feeling lonely
can’t sleep at night
is going through all of these
until the light shines through to that heart
because if only it can touch
that melody and harmony and love

for someone’s sake
we are here
although we can only achieve small things
even just for 1 second
we still want to stop all the tears in this world
and turn them all into smiles

keep loving, and keep walking
we’ve been believing that we will be able to
convey these overflowing feelings
even before we were born
we knew that we would meet
and that we would be searching for out dreams together

with the sparkling sound
time will move forward
you’ll forget all the sorrow
melody and harmony
you are always by my side
giving me courage and hope
thank you
thank you forever
these glittering feelings
are you gifts
you taught me how to support each other
to watch over each other
and that I’m not lonely

the love that was piled up
is riding on the melody
i want to continue conveying that love
forever and ever

starting from here

keep loving, and keep walking
we’ve been believing that we will be able to
convey these overflowing feelings

thank you
thank you forever
these glittering feelings
are you gifts
the love that was plied up
is riding on the melody
i want to continue conveying that love
forever and ever

right now, somewhere, someone
is in pain
is feeling lonely
can’t sleep at night
is going through all of these
until the light shines through to that heart
because if only it can touch
like a melody and harmony in love

This song entitled "Melody and Harmony" by TVXQ members of Jaejung and Yu Chun.We always need someone to guide us through along the way and hoping to find the light that we are searching.It may be a struggle but sometimes it's worth the shot.

Well that's it guys.

Signing Off.

Merry Christmas.

Fighting for Survival

2010-12-23T16:24:00.003+08:00

Hey Readers.All over the internet I've searched,I found some really good topics to blog about but I will put that on hold for a later date.Today's entry isn't going to be "Christmas/Love" but rather for another cause.It won't be that chain status thing on facebook but just here,on this blog.

It feels kind of depressing to really blog about this.Anyway,let me move on.

Out there,in this big world.There are people still fighting for the survival of their lives.To some of us,it may not be a concern as it doesn't affect our life but we should spare a thought for them.We are here living so healthily and yet we don't sympathize with them for a bit.

When you lose someone that had taken care of you or someone that you shared secrets with,it just feels depressing .We mourn and cried.And in the end we move on with our life,accepting the fate.

Upon hearing stories of a particular person,I wanna wish them to stay strong and never give up because we would never want to lose someone that we loved.I hope that everyone here that read by this post would lend their prayers for him.It isn't important to whom I may referring but as long your prayer is there,I know it would definitely reach to him.

Two Songs will be posted on the sidebar and credits goes to them.Below are the lyrics:

I've been kick around
and let down
been told a lie
and lied about
it wasn't until I found
you right here in front of me

I had to be broken so I could see
the angel in front of me
and I'll never take for granted
another day

And I'm Gonna Fight
To keep you mine
Before I let you walk out of my life
I'll die
If you're not by my side
I'm Gonna fight
For the life
I've been looking for..for so much time
I'm gonna fight
I'm gonna fight

I've been used a day
then thrown away
been told to leave
then asked to stay
I was so confused until
the day that I met you

I had to be broken so I could see
the angel in front of me
and I'll never take for granted
another day

And I'm Gonna Fight
To keep you mine
Before I let you walk out of my life
I'll die
If you're not by my side
I'm Gonna fight
For the life
I've been looking for..for so much time
I'm gonna fight

And I'm gonna fight
For every moment
that I wasted being broken
you deserve it,every minute
and I wanna give it
all to you so take my hand
and follow me home
cuz you know

I'm gonna fight...
I'm gonna fight
Not gonna give up

And I'm Gonna Fight
To keep you mine
Before I let you walk out of my life
I'll die
If you're not by my side
I'm Gonna fight
For the life
I've been looking for..for so much time
I'm gonna fight
I'm gonna fight

Repeat x2

This song was originally composed by J Rice, a youtuber.He's a musician and this song somehow reach through me.Alright and the next would be an old favorite.

Take a breath
I pull myself together
Just another step till I reach the door
You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you
I wish that I could tell you something
To take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

When I hear your voice
Its drowning in a whisper
It's just skin and bones
There's nothing left to take
And no matter what I do I can't make you feel better
If only I could find the answer
To help me understand

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I wont give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

That if you fall, stumble down
I'll pick you up off the ground
If you lose faith in you
I'll give you strength to pull through
Tell me you won't give up cause I'll be waiting if you fall
Oh you know I'll be there for you

(Ahahaha)
If only I could find the answer
To take it all away

Sometimes i wish i could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I wont give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know
(Oh)
I wish I could save you
I want you to know
(Ohohh)
I wish I could save you (oh)

Entitled "Save you" by Simple Plan.The music video shows people fighting for cancer.

On track,I hope that people would spare a thought for these people.I'm not asking for donations to support such causes.Sometimes,money couldn't buy everything.All they want is for someone to accompany them in their time of need.We may argue that these disease might get on to us but aren't we being over-protective?

These opportunities are hard to come by.For people to support and show concern is hard as we have other things in our life.I don't disagree to that either but stop your work and put yourself in their shoes for once.What are they feeling.

We humans always want to have this and that.Nothing can satisfy our mind.Eventually we become fickle-minded on our choices.We may have the luxurious things or better-well-of things in life but all these people just wanted one wish and that is to recover.

Spare a thought.
Lend a Hand.
Voice out your prayers.

Firework

2010-12-18T00:55:00.004+08:00

Hello readers.I've been absent since the last post.I wasn't feeling well for that period.Now I'm up on my feet,breathing fresh air as always!

I kind of miss my class.It's fun to watch people joking around among themselves or even with the teachers.It just makes the environment more lively.All good things do come to an end.We may have part our ways a month ago but those memories are quite something! There are some of us that doesn't really like to be involve with the class and there are some that are just victims to it but in the end all of us would just laugh our heads off! That's truly are memories that could never be forgotten.

On track, today post is about "Firework". It relates to a song which I would post the lyrics below.As all of you might have known,today was the release of the GCE 'N' level result.It was the same as us in the previous year.We stood quietly waiting impatiently for the result to be announce.Anticipating our result anxiously,with butterfly in our stomach.

Those are the feelings that we get every time when we are waiting for something that we longed for.It just feel nostalgic to be reminded of today as we were once sitting on that very hall.Although, our result of the GCE 'O' Level result would be release next month.The thoughts of it are kind of scary.With us experiencing it all over again.Who knows we might get cold feet! Brrr...

The Lyrics for the Song "Firework" by Katy Perry.

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind
Wanting to start again

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in

Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under scream
But no one seems to hear a thing

Do you know that there's still a chance for you
Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed
So you can open one that leads you to the perfect road

Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow
And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em goin "Oh, oh, oh!"

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

Honestly,I have no idea that this song existed until I watch a parody of it.It was a good parody and so I've decided to hear the official music.

With the relation to today's result,there are many people that tried to work hard for the things they have always wanted or dream of.And our parents have always wanted the best for us.We may still be childish and neglect their advice as we find it was a nuisance to our life.It's only when we have step into the working world we began to realize that those very words they uttered were true in the end.We end up regretting for our guilty actions towards them and yet they have already pass on to the next life..

We may fail in life.We might.We do not know what is in stores for us.When we fail,a door is close.When that door is close,there are other doors that are open for us to choose from.

An opportunity that comes by may be swept by the wind,there is always one that is on the sole of our shoes,waiting for us to pick it up and try it.

I have a friend.He wanted 14 point for his GCE 'O' Level last year but in the end he didn't get what he wanted.He may be depressed about it as his choice that he wanted was unavailable due to the cut off point.He decided to go to another course which he thought he could try.In the end,he enjoyed it with his classmates in the polytechnic and is now living his life to the fullest.

These are moments that we have to realize that results are the one that determines our future.If we did not take it seriously,we wouldn't have better opportunity to pursue our dreams.

Everyone has dreams.You and me.Some dream to be a pilot,lawyer,doctor,CEO.We are all unique in our own way and we decide how we want to live our life.No one should ever have the right to show or lead how we live our life.

It's the same.We also don't have the right to insult other people for what they are because that is just plain wrong.Seriously,it's despicable when people insult other people well-being just because they are perfect in their own eyes.

God gives them for a reason.And we have no right to insult god's creation.All we can do is instead of insulting,we can try to lend a hand.No one is perfect even if it was their sexual orientation.

In conclusion,giving up is letting go of your dream.Every failure is a stepping stone to success.We may fail at first but we should never give up.And also live the life that we want.Well,legally of course.

Your firework would ignite!

Next Post " Love/Christmas "

Campaign on Child Abuse

2010-12-05T19:38:00.008+08:00

Hello readers.As you guys might have noticed,people have changed their profile picture in facebook/twitter to a cartoon picture from their childhood.This is a campaign to show awareness on child abuses.This has been going on for quite a while of course not in the eye of the public.

So let's talk about it in a little detail.Potential abuser would usually be parents and such reasons are:

Monetary issues
Loss of conscience
Experience
Mentality issues

When people face with setbacks that involved money,they tend to get frustrated.And to get rid of that frustration.They would let it go with the first thing on their side when they usually come home.And that would be their children.All toddlers are happy to see their parents coming home and would be by the doorstep to hug them.Sometimes,people often forget what they are doing towards someone or how much pain they could endure.A kid wouldn't last as long as a teenager would.By torture means that is.

When people get drunk or rather high,they lose their conscience which determines whether their actions are right or wrong from the beginning.Usually,innocent people would get involved just to face these people that are drunk.It's rare to see people that are drunk to behave such a way.Unless they are face with either monetary or mentality issues.

There are also certain cases that children become a victim.It is when they themselves experience it from their parents at first and as a way of taming children had been inculcated in their everyday lives.This is always an issue that hardly surface or rather unclear to see from hindsight as we do not know their background of their earlier generations.

People that suffer from mental issues would not realize what they are doing.It is as if their conscience is not even there at first or it was there but they couldn't control their nerve to their brain.It really depends whether they are to be blame or not.Many questions would come up from this.

If they had such problems,why have a child?
Just to find a whole as a family?
Wouldn't that be a burden to their children becoming victim?
Would they be able to cure from their disease?
What if they got sick of the medicine?
And got hay-wired instead?

It does depends.To have a child is a responsibility that as parents must really uphold.To be able to meet their needs and give them food and shelter.They are also humans and shouldn't be abuse by potential abuser just because they are under-whelming against their predators.

Parents are one of the potential abuser to these children.Although,there are also other groups that lead to such cases.Bullies,Siblings or maybe a stranger.

These term "bullies" never fail to surface from my entry.We might not see it but it's happening in today's society.This analogy which I assume most of you have seen it on television advertisements.

By having a straw it's easily bent
By combining that straw,it would requires a certain amount of effort to bend it.

Imagine these bullies are that group of straws combined against one straw which is the victim.Who would lose out? It would definitely be that single straw.

A children childhood is very important to each individual because from there we would grow up and what we can be from there.If that childhood is disrupted or destroyed,there would not be happiness among them and they would be pessimistic.This in return would destroy their very own future ahead of them just because they had face such setbacks when they were small.

Today's society is pretty much corrupted.People often either pick on those that are smaller than them or ganged up with the others to confront against one single person.They might be still immature or you would argue that they are having fun.

Have you ever thought if people had stop such situation from getting worse,how many more lives would be save? Or rather their future?

Children that never voice out their concerns to their parents, afraid of burdening them, are almost certain to be victims of child abuse or being empathize by their teachers.At that rate,they wouldn't make any friends.I thought the same way,ending up with only my best friend that had lasted for 8 years till today.

Some would even argue that they was somehow involve just to look bold in front of the others.Everything in this world has a clear definition.

A crime.It's something that is done by a human and what they did was wrong.
Being bullied.It's something that is done by a human which was wrong to confront against another student that is either weaker or smaller in term of height.

Whatever it is,a crime is a crime and when you bully is also consider a wrongful act.This is despicable.

She walks to school with the lunch she packed
Nobody knows what she's holdin' back
Wearin' the same dress she wore yesterday
She hides the bruises with linen and lace

The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask
It's hard to see the pain behind the mask
Bearing the burden of a secret storm
Sometimes she wishes she was never born

Through the wind and the rain
She stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings
And she flies to a place where she's loved
Concrete angel

Somebody cries in the middle of the night
The neighbors hear, but they turn out the lights
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate
When morning comes it'll be too late

[Repeat Chorus]

A statue stands in a shaded place
An angel girl with an upturned face
A name is written on a polished rock
A broken heart that the world forgot

[Repeat Chorus]

This song entitled "Concrete Angel" by Martina Mcbridge pretty much says it all in the song.Apparently,I keep on relating my past to such campaigns.The reason is everywhere I came across on website or when I'm outside,it would just relate it to my root past.Well,you can't blame me can you?

I was a victim too without the knowledge of anyone or rather they did see it but simply ignore it.They crushed my only childhood and I'm trying my best to carry on with my life.It's unpleasant to be reminded when I told that I would forget it.Let me be a little clear.Teacher did saw but they merely ignored it.

The reason was,they did not have a sense of conscience to determine that those actions were wrong.If they intervene,it would have save partial of that childhood or even a life.

Ironic isn't it.

I didn't die and the reason is my conscience came to me just as I was prepared to take my final breath.I nearly slit my wrist with a knife.I always stood by the railings,waiting to jump down.I always took beyond the recommended dosage when I'm sick or even when I'm not.Imagining to lose my balance on a chair,with a rope around my neck.

At such a young age,I was expose to this type of things while others are building up their childhood.This was what I think of.It was lucid in my mind.I cried every night without the knowledge of my family.Negative things are hard to forget don't they but I don't hold grudges though.

In conclusion,life's tough.I may have experience such abuses and such awareness is crucial so that other children would not fall into victims of child abuse.I'm not dwelling over the past,I'm over it actually.I'm just using it as a reference or speaking from experience.

Leaving II

2010-12-04T15:24:00.004+08:00

Hello readers.It's been the third day since I blogged continuously.There are so many things on my mind but I hope I would clear it by today.Blogging does makes me forget all of this bitterness.I do not wish to remember them but from time to time look at them and learn something from it.

This past is something that we shouldn't let go off.It is the past and we should only be concern about the future but we must realize our mistakes from the past in order not to make the same one in the future.That is how we learn.People who became complacent would never understand this.They will forget it and just keep pushing it even if it were beyond the limits.In the end,we would filled with regrets even when we are old.

I would like to apologize for any mishap that I had caused for this year.And I do hope that I'm forgiven.It's true that I will stop bugging all of you and we are going our separate paths.It's time to say goodbye.I had cause bitterness in everyone's life.A person like me shouldn't be worth remembering.I was selfish.

I admit to all my mistakes and do what I typed in my previous post.It's always hard to say goodbye when you meet a friend.It's easy to not even meet at first.Our mind would began to fickle and we tend to become inquisitive.Well,I'm gonna let it go.All of it.

Hanguel:

WITH OR WITHOUT U
WITH OR WITHOUT U
WITH OR WITHOUT U
WITH OR WITHOUT U

알아 이미 끝났다는 걸 잘 알아 다 알아
알아 놓아줘야 하는 걸 잘 알아 다 알아

(BUT WITHOUT YOU) 사랑은 끝나지 않는 걸
(BUT WITHOUT YOU) 눈물도 멈추지 않는 걸
(SO WITHOUT YOU YOU) 너 없이도
(WITHOUT YOU YOU) 혼자서도 사랑을 지켜갈 거야

(WITH OR WITHOUT U) 너는 날 살아가게 해주는 그 이유 It's you
(WITH OR WITHOUT U) 내 모든 아픔을 다 고쳐주는 치유 It's you

IT'S YOU U U U U! BE WITH YOU U U U U!
IT'S YOU U U U U! BE WITH YOU U U U U!

가라 사랑도 뭣도 아닌 집착아 다 가라 다 가라
그만 너를 그리워 하는 내 이 맘 다 그만 다 그만

WITH OR WITHOUT U
WITH OR WITHOUT U
WITH OR WITHOUT U
WITH OR WITHOUT U

IT'S YOU U U U U! BE WITH YOU U U U U!
IT'S YOU U U U U! BE WITH YOU U U U U!

WITH OR WITHOUT YOU
WITH OR WITHOUT YOU
WITH OR WITHOUT YOU
WITH OR WITHOUT YOU

Romanization:

A ra i mi keth nat da nen gol jal a ra da a ra
A ra noh a jwo ya ha nen gol jal a ra da a ra

(BUT WITHOUT YOU) sa rang en keth na ji an nen gol
(BUT WITHOUT YOU) Nun mul do mom chu ji an nen gol
(SO WITHOUT YOU YOU) No ob si do
(WITHOUT YOU YOU) hon ja so do sa rang el ji kyo gal go ya

(WITH OR WITHOUT U)
No nen nal sa ra ga gé hae ju nen ge i yu IT'S YOU
(WITH OR WITHOUT U)
Nae mo den a phe mel da go chyo ju nen chi yu IT'S YOU

IT'S YOU U U U U! BE WITH YOU U U U U!
IT'S YOU U U U U! BE WITH YOU U U U U!

Ga ra sa rang do mwot do a nin jib cha ga da ga ra da ga ra
Ge man no rel ge ri wo ha nen nae i mam da ge man da ge man

(BUT WITHOUT YOU) sa rang en keth na ji an nen gol
(BUT WITHOUT YOU) Nun mul do mom chu ji an nen gol
(SO WITHOUT YOU YOU) No ob si do
(WITHOUT YOU YOU) hon ja so do sa rang el ji kyo gal go ya

(WITH OR WITHOUT U)
No nen nal sa ra ga gé hae ju nen ge i yu IT'S YOU
(WITH OR WITHOUT U)
Nae mo den a phe mel da go chyo ju nen chi yu IT'S YOU

WITH OR WITHOUT U
WITH OR WITHOUT U
WITH OR WITHOUT U
WITH OR WITHOUT U

(WITH OR WITHOUT U)
No nen nal sa ra ga gé hae ju nen ge i yu IT'S YOU
(WITH OR WITHOUT U)
Nae mo den a phe mel da go chyo ju nen chi yu IT'S YOU

IT'S YOU U U U U! BE WITH YOU U U U U!
IT'S YOU U U U U! BE WITH YOU U U U U!

English:

With or without you With or without you
With or without you With or without you

I know, it's already over, I know well, I know it all
I know, I need to let go, I know well, I know it all

(But without you) The love doesn't stop
(But without you) The tears don't stop either
(So without you) Even without you
(Without you you) I'll protect love by myself

(With or without you) You're the reason that makes me live It's you
(With or without you) You're the cure that fixes all my hurts It's you

It's you u u u u! Be with you u u u u!
It's you u u u u! Be with you u u u u!

Go, obsession that's not even love, go away, go away
Stop, my heart that misses you, just stop, just stop
(But without you) The love doesn't stop
(But without you) The tears don't stop either
(So without you) Even without you
(Without you you) I'll protect love by myself

(With or without you) You're the reason that makes me live It's you
(With or without you) You're the cure that fixes all my hurts It's you

With or without you
With or without you
With or without you
With or without you

(With or without you) You're the reason that makes me live It's you
(With or without you) You're the cure that fixes all my hurts It's you

It's you u u u u! Be with you u u u u!
It's you u u u u! Be with you u u u u!

-With or Without You by 2am-

Hanguel:

왜 자꾸만 이러니 왜 말을 못 알아 듣니
왜 자꾸만 내 곁을 기웃거리니
너와 난 이미 끝난단 말 더는 보기 싫단 말
얼마나 더 해야만 알아듣겠니

너의 부모님 말씀 왜 듣지를 않니
그 사람이 왜 어디가 또 어떻니
그냥 나를 떠나면 돼 힘든 일도 아니야
이제 니가 살던 세상으로 가

* 널 사랑한단 말 이젠 못해 기다려달란 말 더는 못해
널 아프게만 한 바보 같은 나야 못난 남자일 뿐이야

가라고 떠나라고 되지 않는 거짓말을 해봐도
싫다고 안된다고 자꾸 자꾸 울어대는 너라서
미련이 내 맘을 잡아 내 곁에 널 두고 싶어
하지만 더는 안돼 널 위해 끝내야만 해

아주 어릴 때부터 나만 알던 너라서
못해본 일이 너무 많았잖아
갖고 싶은 것도 갖고 좋은 옷도 입어야지
이제 니가 살던 세상으로 가

* 반복

어떻게 내가 너를 잊겠니 내 인생의 빛나던 태양을
이렇게 나 너를 보내버리면 어떻게 살지도 모르는데

* 반복

Romanization:

Wae jakkuman ireoni wae mareul mot ara deudni
Wae jakkuman nae gyeoteul giutgeorini
Neowa nan imi kkeutnandan mal deoneun bogi sildan mal
Eolmana deo haeya aradeudgenni

Neoui bumonim malsseum wae deudjireul anhni
Geu sarami wae eodiga tto eotteohni
Geunyang nareul tteonamyeon dwae himdeun ildo aniya
Ije niga saldeon sesangeuro ga

* Neol saranghandan mal ijen mothae gidaryeodalran mal deoneun mothae
Neol apeugeman han babo gateun naya motnan namjail ppuniya

Garago tteonarago dwiji anhneun geojitmareul haebwado
Sildago andoendago jakku jakku ureodaneun neoraseo
Miryeoni nae mameul jaba nae gyeothe neol dugu sipeo
Hajiman deoneun andwae neol wihae kkeutnayaman hae

Aju eoril ttaebuteo naman aldeon neoraseo
Mothaebun iri neomu manhatjanha
Geotgo sipeun geotdo gatgo joheun otdo ipeoyaji
Ije niga saldeon sesangeuro ga

* Repeat

Otteohke naega neoreul itgetni nae insaengui bitnadeon taeyangeul
Ireohke na neoreul bonae bonaerimyeon eotteohke saljido
Moreuneunde

* Repeat

English:

Why do you keep being like this, why can't you understand
Why do you keep lounging around my side
How many times do I have to say
That you and me are already over, I don't wanna see you anymore

Why don't you listen to your parents
What's so bad about that person
You just have to leave me, it's not even a hard thing to do
Now go back to the world you were living in

*I can't say I love you anymore, I can't ask for you to wait for me anymore
I'm a fool that just hurt you, I'm just a poor man

Even if I lie clumsily, telling you to go, leave
You keep crying, crying, saying that you don't want to, you can't
Lingering affection grips me, I want to keep you by my side
But not anymore, I have to end it for you

Because you only knew me since you were very young
You had too many things that you didn't do
You have to have the things you want and wear nice clothes
Now go back to the world you were living in

*Repeat

How can I forget you, the shining sun of my life
If I send you like this, I don't know how I'll live

*Repeat

The second song is entitled "I can't say I love you" by 2am.The reason for me posting this two songs in today's entry is because I have made a mistake.To all my friends,I am truly sorry for my actions this year.I would say it's outrageous.I had forgotten everything.I had abused it.I also did took it for granted.I don't deserve such friends like all of you.We can't say we love somebody when we don't have that feeling.

To you,I do no longer want to toy with your feelings anymore.We can only be friends and that is to it.You may say what you want on me.You may want to call me names or whatever satisfy till your heart content.Let me draw a line.Maybe,we can't even be friends anymore.Not after that experience.Let's just stop everything.There's no point pretending anymore.We are already growing up and we could not be in denial for so long.You are worthy of someone better.Let me remain this loneliness as a punishment.

Goodbye.

Apology/Blame

2010-12-03T14:38:00.005+08:00

I sounded like I was preaching on my previous post.I do apologize on that.People should choose what they should.Be what they want.All I hope is that people would just be clear-minded and not forget the true meaning of humanity even with or without a religion.We have to use our common sense in making our choices in the future.It's the fate of the world.

I guess you really did it this time
Left yourself in your warpath
Lost your balance on a tightrope
Lost your mind tryin' to get it back

Wasn't it easier in your lunchbox days?
Always a bigger bed to crawl into
Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything?
And everybody believed in you?

It's all right, just wait and see
Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you've been
You're still an innocent
You're still an innocent

There's some things you can't speak of
But tonight you'll live it all again
You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now
If only you would sing what you know now then

Wasn't it easier in your firefly-catchin' days?
And everything out of reach, someone bigger brought down to you
Wasn't it beautiful runnin' wild 'til you fell asleep?
Before the monsters caught up to you?

It's all right, just wait and see

Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you've been
You're still an innocent

It's okay, life is a tough crowd
32, and still growin' up now
Who you are is not what you did
You're still an innocent

Time turns flames to embers
You'll have new Septembers
Every one of us has messed up too

Lives change like the weather
I hope you remember
Today is never to late to
Be brand new

It's all right, just wait and see
Your string of lights are still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you've been
You're still an innocent

It's okay, life is a tough crowd
32, and still growin' up now
Who you are is not what you did
You're still an innocent

This song entitled "Innocent" by Taylor Swift. A song that describe the current situation.

It was my fault for not making it so clear.
It was my fault that I twist with the words.
It was my fault that I didn't consider your emotions.
It was my fault for being so naive.
It was my fault for only thinking for myself.
It was my fault for being so selfish.
It was my fault trying to do everything on my own.
It was my fault for leaving you.
It was my fault for being somebody I'm not.
It was my fault for making you cry.
It was my fault for being so stupid.
It was my fault for not realizing it.
It was my fault for you.
It was my fault for starting to write it.
It was my fault for trying to forget it.
It was my fault that you misunderstood.
It was my fault that we fought.
It was my fault that we went our separate ways.
It was my fault that you would hold grudges.
It was my fault that I lied.

You can scold me.
You can hate me.
You can rant on me.
You can scream on me.
You can not be friends with me.
You can ignore me when we meet.
You can delete me off from your contact list.
You can block me.
You can told your friends to do the same.
You can roll your eyes on me.
You can oppose against whatever I do.
You can discriminate me.
You can spit at me.
You can throw things at me.
You can slap me.
You can act coldly towards me.
You can say those harsh words to me.
You can destroy me.
You can break my mentality.
You can make me cry.
You can make me feel I should jump down.
You can push the blame on me for everything.

This is right.I feel guilty.Do what you wish but what I know is it's the past and we should just look forward.The future that would be best for ourselves.We should not hold to the past so tightly.Maybe this was the only choice.To accomplish something you have to let go of things you love dearly.I'm sorry.

You can take that eraser and just rub me away.
Or just cut away my picture.
Or darkened it with marker.
I can disappear from your life forever.
I would never socialize with you ever again.
I would never provoke you.
I would never make eye contact with you.
I would not make you cry again.
I would not make you laugh again.
I would stop everything that has to do with you

The Forgotten

2010-12-02T21:30:00.005+08:00

Hello readers.I'm back here once more.Yesterday I went to two recruiting agent in town with my friend and we have to wait for a week before they get back to us.It is already December.By the time I get my result,I don't think they would want to recruit people that could commit less than 3 months.This is really a pain.

Ahh Oh well.Just have to be patient.

As the topic suggested "The Forgotten",let me share a story with all of you here.

There was once a boy who lived by himself.He never knew the true meaning of love,care and warmth as his parents had passed away when he was just a baby.They were killed in a car accident and miraculously he survived.His life goes on with him going to school just like every normal child would do.His parents had also left their life saving for him to use.

People often misunderstood him.There were some that mock him for not having a mother's love.And there were some whom merely get close to him for his parent's wealth.The teacher did noticed it but simply ignore.For that teacher,she is assign to teach and that is all to it.She couldn't be bothered with her students situation in class.Years after years,the boy could not take it anymore.He stood up and shouted at the bullies.Instead,no one empathize with him and simply carry on with their task.Thus,he felt it was useless to do anything.

On a summer evening,he love to write poetry and this was what he wrote:

Thou parents love I may not have
Trying my best to fit in
Thy creatures did not gave in
Tainted my life like a black pit

He then started to cried and mourn his parents death.Although they had went to the other world 8 years ago.He shouted with his head pointing to the sky,"God,Why!"

"Why did you took them away?!"
"Why did you give me a second chance?"
"Why are you so unfair to me?"
"I just wanna die!"
"Why Why Why!"

His neighbors peered out from their window and looked at him.Not giving a second thought and started to scold him.He rushed into his house and took a knife,with his tears rolling down from his cheeks,not knowing what he should do next...

-End-

There are these moments when god give a second chance to people but took away something from them that they held dearly.Love.We may say that god was cruel to us in giving us such a life.That was never the case.God gives us a second chance to allow us to see other opportunities that we hadn't see before,something that we missed.It's true that our life was rough with such mockery but it's just a test.

We would ask "Why the test?"

I believe it was to make us stand up as someone stronger than before believing that we could do it.When we do that,we learn and gain experience.We would then be able to meet all challenges and overcome it.Our mentality is something that is easily disrupted but due to such early exposure,it would be fixed.

We are only left with a few more years to live in.And I myself had questioned God those questions above.God didn't answer me directly but I realize it in my journey to find myself.I was cruel to myself.And being unfair too.

Someone I just met today told me that.We are given a unique personality to be what we are and not what people tell us to be.This is our life and we choose the path ourselves with the guidance from god.It's true that we are not appealing but in life we have a purpose to fulfill.And that is faith.

Faith is something that we can only find through our religion.Be warned.There are activities that are trying to destroy these religions.Mine.You.And simply everyone that believes in them.We may be busy with everything; school,work and life.I'm not denying that either but we must not forget that this life is temporary.

There are many things that makes this life so appealing.The newest electronic gadgets,games,accessories and clothes.We would go all out on them just to make ourselves feel better.It may be efficient but these things tend to create distractions.

Imagine by a group of Youtubers,originally sung by John Lennon.Credits goes to them.The song is on the sidebar.Below are the lyrics

Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

Well,that's all from me.We had forgotten the life god gave us to fulfill its wishes due to this distractions.We had forgotten about it.

Warning.

2010-11-27T21:22:00.003+08:00

Hello readers.I'm back here once more.November is coming to an end and one more month would be the 'O' level result.Although it was only two weeks ago that the 'O' level ended,I feel it was already months that we are having this break! It could be that I could not keep myself occupied with things.

It's really boring!

Some of you have forgotten me.Should I be happy? I have no clue too. I may be expecting too much from you guys.

Since I have no job yet,I still throw it away.My life is not in order anymore.Trust me.It's terrible!

As you guys might have known,tensions have rise between two opposing parties that carries different ideologies within an island.Some would say it's a civil war.Honestly,there are many other countries supporting each side.How could it even be a civil war?!

My purpose here is not to criticize them.

We as people from distant countries should never take this privilege in life for granted.It's true that our own homeland is not experiencing such turbulence and didn't live in fear.However,we must always be prepared to combat any form of terrorism because when we take things for granted,things tend to happen.It always does.

In life,we humans could never satisfy ourselves.There are some that wanted more and a few that wanted less.They would even go to the extent and argue that it was for survival and economic growth.

War is a terrible thing.Or rather conflicts.We may not compromise at first.However by being in one,we would involve the people around us.The one that we loved and care the most.

Nowadays,there have been a lot of cases.Would you imagine if someone from the society would step up and help to stop the conflict from getting worse,wouldn't the number of casualties be significantly reduce? Maybe it would and maybe it wouldn't but it's the thoughts that counts.

Our society doesn't have that type of people because we were pampered too much with the good things in life.We tend to believe that there are always people that would come and defend us when we are in need.

Let me share a story here.

Once,there were a group of soldiers fighting against guerrillas that had advanced warfare.The soldiers were outnumbered as those guerrillas had managed to outwit them despite when they had the upper-hand at first.They called in for back-up.They waited and each time one of their comrades dies trying to escape from the sight of these guerrillas.Eventually,the reinforcement didn't came.They abandon the troops.The remaining of the soldiers either became prisoners or some were entirely wiped out.

The possible reason for these reinforcement to not arrive because they felt it was a waste of time as the chances of winning was declining to a near 0% and there were only a few soldiers left.

Or it was a waste of resources.

This shows that in times like this,we should never rely on things for extra help.Instead they could have put their heads together and use their strengths together.In this life,help wouldn't come easily as seen on televisions and so on.We have to depend on ourselves to survive.

Have you ever thought.

When war is officially declared,would you scramble and find your friends?

Or find shelter for your own safety?

Many would choose the second option.

Hmph.How naive can we be..I'm not trying to force you to change here.This is a reminder we shouldn't rely on people too much and when they didn't deliver as they should,we blame them.

We love to blame on people except ourselves.

Sunlight

2010-11-25T22:25:00.003+08:00

Hello readers.I'm here once more to write down these thoughts that I've been holding on since yesterday night.Since I've made that previous post below this,I've been thinking a lot lately and apparently I could not sleep too.

I wouldn't want to talk about that past.All I can say that right now.I still feel discriminated.I know that I don't really stand out among my friends.And I also know that once school is over,I am nothing.I have no authority to do anything.

You guys can do whatever you all want on me but deep down I know I will never give up even if I have to try a thousand times than my other friends.I will never back down.This is my will to live and purpose!

Apparently,that is my sunlight that I've been searching for too.

I will believe in myself even till the day I die.

Hello

2010-11-25T01:32:00.007+08:00

Hello readers.It's 1.35am here and I feel so bored right now.No jobs.I just slack away my time which I used to consider precious once.Today's topic would be "Hello".

Hello.
We have met.
5 years you would say.

Was it worthwhile?
Was it memorable?

Did we manage to mature overtime?
Did we accomplish our resolution?
Did we find our true calling in life?
Did we succeed?

How far will we go?
How well did we do?

Will these memories last?
Will our friendship still be there after we part our ways?
Will we able to compromise once more?
Will we trust people?

Are there still hope?
Are there still chances?
Are there still honesty?
Are there still justice or rather fairness?

We tend to ask ourselves this questions overtime because we would know that one day our time would come to an end in a school.Some of us want to succeed while some of us just want to get away from our school's life.What was the reason?

There are many reasons.Bullies.Discriminative actions.Misjudged.Biased.

Those are a few of which I experienced in the past.Not in my secondary life but in that previous school.I only had a friend that survived till now for 8 years.I'm glad I would say.

This time our secondary life is ending as we are graduating into a Tertiary Institution or Junior College or Millenia Institute.We are going our separate ways and we are wondering those question above.

Sometimes we have found a friend.Someone who understood us or rather able to accept for who we are or rather tolerate with our attitude.That type of person would never last because in life, this is what people always think.

To survive,we have to make use of them.

Or

To make through in this school,we have to mix with the right people.

It's biased and discriminative and a pain but we cannot stop them for doing what they want.They chose to be that way.All we can do is being cautious.Even if they mixed with us,just don't get too caught up with the situation.

In the end,they would pursue their own career,dreams and ambitions and leave us behind.They would even cut our line of communication.We were fooled.From there,we don't beat ourselves down.We stand up.Head held high,standing as someone stronger.

For me,I'm not really concern with such people.They do what they want.It's their life.I have my own flaw but I have no point sharing it with people.Sometimes I don't realize I'm self-centered too.I have made up my mind.I do not wish to share my problems with people and be hurt once more.

Well,what you guys did back then did shatter my whole self.And I was afraid to stood up against you all.Even if I did,I was outnumbered.No one bothered to help me.They laugh,mock and insulted me.At such a young age,I was already tainted with those words and so was my childhood.I lived in fear,never did overcoming it.

I should just forget it you say?

Since it's the past.

Yeah,well those actions are too treacherous to be forgotten.It's a nightmare.And I have never hold grudges.I would never will.

I just do not wish to experience such bitterness anymore.

Mock me if you want.

Talk behind my back.

I'm amazing in my own way so don't try to bring it down.

End.

Well,thanks for reading. Stay tune. Finally,this is the last entry I'm gonna make about my past.I'm going to let it go.

I'm glad again :)

Emotions

2010-11-20T23:45:00.004+08:00

Hello Readers.As mentioned above,today's topic would be on "Emotions".Before I continue,I would like to rant that I still have no job up till today.It's a bore! Seriously. I had play games like no tomorrow.

Emotions.How do you define it? There are many emotions that expresses for who we are and what we are feeling at that moment of time.It could be in a simple situation that brought about happiness or a complicated one which spur up frustration.There are times when we lost someone we held so dearly,we were depressed.And there are those days when a person tries to control everything about what we do,ending up we develop a sense of hatred.

There are many emotions that could describe a person's character.Today,I will list down a few.

Happiness - This is an emotion that everyone desire for. It could be happiness in a relationship or happiness for life.We always fixed our minds by wanting those good stuff in life,positive things I'd say.And sometimes people do take this emotion for granted resulting them to regret of their actions.For me,happiness is out there but it would never last.And we should never keep something that could bring joy to others.We should share it.

Sadness - Many people dislike this emotion.Well, the negativity would just flow right in to you and all sort of things come into mind.Suicide,Murder,Emo-ing and so on.When we are experiencing this,it is always best to stop whatever we are doing because it would definitely affect the quality of the work.This is tough to go through alone and sometimes we just have to.When there are someone out there who allow you to share your burden with them,let them.Your mind will be at ease.

Anger - Everyone loves to throw things around.Kicking for example.It is a way to show how angry we are.Sometimes people tend to do things that could really pisses other people off.By possessing such emotion,it could also encourage certain strength that we have bottled up for quite sometime to gush out just like that.It is always not safe to be around those that are angry.It is also best to allow them to cool their heads off.Sometimes they also tend to say things that they didn't meant to.

Frustration - All of us wants a perfect result,presentation or friends.Although,it's impossible to achieve that is when we will get to be frustrated.We will throw all sorts of words to ourselves.Hopeless,Useless or maybe just a burden to someone else life.To achieve something in life,we have to work hard for it.By working hard is the amount of effort we put.And by the amount,it's the quality of effort that we put.It's a tedious and tiring process but it's worth the sacrifice.

Hatred - Sometimes we love to use these few words, " I hate you" or maybe we develop it overtime.In this lifetime,we should never develop hatred against another person.This life is short.So,we should live to our fullest and enjoy while we can.When we hate someone,we began to despise them.Eventually this would develop into something more complicated.It could be a person knocking down a friend of yours.And you despise that person as it was a hit-and-run and evidently that friends of yours was the only one who understood you completely.And we would say "I would never forgive you" or "You shall regret this". Hatred tends to give us a one-sided action rather than being fair.

Love - This is something that people love to talk about.It's an emotion alright.This is my opinion on it.When we love someone,we held them dearly.We sacrifice our time for them.We respect their limits.We have our own limits.We know where we stand and would not cross that line.Love is a complicated process in which there could be misunderstandings and not just a few but tons of it.Jealousy would comes into play.Sometimes people makes things so complicated that they would end up regretting it later.

Okay.That's it.It's pretty dry.I have no idea what I'm blogging about.This is life.And we should stop whining about how cruel it is.

One last thing,we should always be honest about how we are feeling because we would never want to tell people that we are not feeling what they thought we are.You get it?

Next Post:"Hello"

Signing Off.

Memoirs

2010-11-17T00:04:00.006+08:00

Hello Readers.I'm back here once more.The holidays are pretty much a bore.Well honestly, I can't believe I'm saying this too.When we have studies,we wanted holidays.And when we have holidays,we wanted studies.Human being is always hard to please.

Anyway,above are some pictures that I found on my friend's facebook album page,with her permission of course.Each picture do hold a unique significance,representing from different events.This event are the one that made us remember it for our life.It's true that I said I wouldn't cherish these memories in my previous post.But hey,who am I kidding! Memories are meant to be treasured whether we want it or not.From these memories,there is always an experience in it.We gain it or we don't and if we do,we learn something new.

Everyone of us wanted to create a special memories between them.It could be friends,BGR,families and so on and forth.Usually some of them would ask,why bother? It won't last forever anyway.Or maybe it's just a waste of time. Honestly,this is what I usually say so I'm a bit guilty :X

Moving on,I have finally come to an understanding that pictures do speaks a thousand words. As someone who wants to discover the truth,I must take in consideration of every minor details.Sometimes we tend to get motivated in doing stuff that we like.Passionate I guess.Well back to the point.It's important to cherish every moments that we have in this life because we might never know when we would just die.I'm not trying to curse or anything but we might never know.

Last but not least. A song entitled "Like Crazy" by 2AM recently released. They are a Korean boy band ballad genre group. The song is on my sidebar under the music player. I will be posting the lyrics here and the video would be at the bottom.

Korean:
아직 가슴이 아픈 건 참아도 눈물이 나는 건

입으론 잊었다 말해도 나조차 속여보려고 해도
널 잊지 못해서 그런 거라서

미친 듯이 눈물이 나 이러다 나 정말 무슨 일 날 거 같아
보란 듯이 잘 살아 보고 싶은데 어떡해 나 계속 눈물이 나

무슨 잘못을 한 건지
뭐가 너를 떠나게 한 건지

이유를 알 수가 없어서 그런 내가 너무나 분해서
잊어보려 해도 결국 너라서

미친 듯이 눈물이 나 이러다 나 정말 무슨 일 날 거 같아
보란 듯이 잘 살아 보고 싶은데 어떡해 나 계속 눈물이 나

정말 이유는 모르겠지만 내가 뭐라도 널 섭섭하게 했겠지
다 니가 맞으니까 내가 틀린 거니까
돌아만 와줘 이 눈물을 멈춰줘

미친 듯이 눈물이 나 이러다 나 정말 무슨 일 날 거 같아
보란 듯이 잘 살아 보려 했는데 눈물만 나 계속 미친 듯이

Romanization:
Ajig gaseumi apeun guhn chamado noonmoori naneun guhn

Eebeuron eejuhtda marhaedo najocha soqyuhboryuhgo haedo
Nuhr eejji mothaesuh geuruhn guhrasuh

Michin deushi noonmoori na eeruhda na juhngmal mooseun eel nar guh gata
Boran deushi jar sara bogo shipeundeh uhdduhghae na gyesok noonmoori na

Mooseun jarmoseur han guhnji
Mwuhga nuhreur dduhnageh han guhnji

Eeyooreur ar sooga uhbsuhsuh geuruhn naega nuhmoona boonhaesuh
Eejuhboryuh haedo gyurgook nuhrasuh

Michin deushi noonmoori na eeruhda na juhngmal mooseun eel nar guh gata
Boran deushi jar sara bogo shipeundeh uhdduhghae na gyesok noonmoori na

Juhngmar eeyooneun moreugettjiman naega mwuhrado nuhr suhbsuhbhageh haetgetji
Da niga mateunigga naega teullin guhnigga
Doraman wajwuh ee noonmooreur mumchwujwuh

Michin deushi noonmoori na eeruhda na juhngmal mooseun eel nar guh gata
Boran deushi jar sara boryuh haetneundeh noonmoorman na gyesok michin deushi

English:
My heart still hurts, I can't hold in my tears

Even though I said I had already forgotten, even if I try to lie to myself
Because I still can't forget you

My tears falling like crazy, at this rate, what am I going to do
I want to live proudly, what to do, my tears keep falling

What did I do wrong
Why did we separate

I don't know the reason, I'm so furious
No matter how hard I try to forget, in the end it's still you

My tears falling like crazy, at this rate, what am I going to do
I want to live proudly, what to do, my tears keep falling

Even though I really don't know the reason, no matter what I do will make you mad, right
Because you've always right, and I'm always wrong
Let's go back, stop my tears from falling

My tears falling like crazy, at this rate, what am I going to do
I want to live proudly, my tears keep falling like crazy

It's a good song.It describes one of my friend and apparently me.I'm not gonna say who it is.Figure it out.And don't ask me about it xD I still have doubts on taking pictures :X

Instincts

2010-11-16T00:41:00.003+08:00

Hello readers.Well today had been an interesting journey.Apparently I went out to NYP.It was a request from my old classmate from Primary School.So,I just went without knowing the knowledge of it.

I know this is leading to nowhere.Everything in this life is tempting.However,I've discovered every aspect of your life about the words you are saying.And I had managed to look beyond what you are trying to tell us.In other words,I've solved it.So,don't bother trying to trick me.

There is always a truth in everything.Be it a small or big matter.That truth is always a light that is shining down from above as Justice would prevail.We may be conceal in the darkness but we have to trust the thing that we have which is our instincts.It would lead us to the light.And that light would reveal everything.It's true we may have to give up on certain opportunities but it's worth it in saving our life.Without knowing any background,we should never do something beyond our will.Probably,you may not be those typical person. But hey,people have their ways around it.

Well,I am not easily fooled.And what you said just now is seriously rude.Have you no basic courtesy?

And right now I still have no job.This is just plain terrible.I met with my conductor and he told me I should just work in a field which I dislike as a last resort.Well,I agree.We all need to survive on something right.

"There is Always One and Only Truth!"

Forget Me

2010-11-13T23:01:00.002+08:00

Hello Readers! I'm back from a long months of absence due to my O level and all I can say is that I would not be leaving any regrets. At first it was really hard to stop doing what I usually do which is blogging but after months of discipline,I believe it was worth it.

For now,I'm just seeking for a job till the next school term and it really depends how many aggregate I would get for the Os.Just right before the Os, I took study leave from school.It wasn't really an official one but most of us just declare it by our own.In life,we have to take some risks and sometimes it involves putting our reputation on the line.The result would speak for itself when it comes out on Mid-January next year and hoping to see it would paid off.

Now,I don't want to put my hopes too high on O level.I have other priority in life right? I hope so. After the Os, I was clueless. And well let me talk about the Prelims.

During the Prelim period,it was a tough and lonely journey for me.To many of you it isn't but I took the step alone. I refrain from talking with other people and sometimes even stop socializing. I only remembered I talk to only one of my friend.I've no clue either.Right let's get back on track.

The O's was finished yesterday and now we are celebrating or doing something else in life.For me, I want to do what I like best or rather achieve my goals before next year. So here I come!

It has been a great journey with all of my friends and I would uh remember it. I wouldn't say cherish though. Hahaha. Right. Now to write something:

It was my fault.And it would always be.I am for what I am.You can't force me to do things that I don't want.It's like asking a baby to mend a car.Okay maybe I'm exaggerating.The world has its beauty and nature allow us to be within it.We are the one who tried to change that and do things in our own way.In the end,we destroy it.It's the same.When you ask someone to do things that they don't want.In the end,they will be apart from you and the relationship is endless.

But

That's not my point here for this post.

When two worlds collide,it's something to be happy about.Now is the time for us to have some breather.And for me,I believe I have to let everyone go.I have lost faith.Yes.My faith.I don't know to who.But,when we do meet on the streets and I did not acknowledge you,I wasn't being arrogant.I had simply forgotten you.Even if we were friends for 5 years.I had to do it.Don't ask me why.Because I don't know it myself.This is the right time for me just to be nothing in everyone's life.

I'm sorry.I'm being selfish.Yeah I am.I am always like this.

Forget me.

Retaliation

2010-08-31T22:02:00.004+08:00

A very quick update.

First,I will not forget what you did to me today.Don't you ever treat me like a fool and you had crossed that line again.How thick do you want me to draw before you see it? If you repeat such incident,I will not hesitate to retaliate! I'm not threatening, it just pisses me off. Let me cool my head first..

Pretty Much inspired or rather motivated to do humanities. That's it!

Signing Off.

When you have eliminated the impossible whatever remains however improbably
must be the truth.

There are many reason for killing someone but there isn't one when saving them.

Farewell

2010-08-28T19:38:00.005+08:00

Hey readers. It has been a long time since I blog about something. It has been a very busy month.And the Preliminary Examination has started too.It's a Saturday night and I thought I might drop by here so that it won't be so dead.Anyway,I will be MIA until the end of O Level.Gotta change that mode to examination mode.So wish me luck for the exams =)

It has been so long since I last saw you
That moment would be the one that I want to remember
But as each passing day,you keep on pushing me away
You say that our love is no longer there
No matter how many times I tried
To me it is still hard to let you go

Cause you are the one that I fell in love with
That I will not give you up easily
Though our separation is coming
It's time to say goodbye
This is my farewell to you
As I bring that bitterness with me

Goodbye.

Winning Isn't Everything

2010-07-21T18:14:00.003+08:00

Hello readers.Back in the midst of the week.And today,I'm going to touch a little about winning.

Winning isn't everything and I've just realize it after today's experience.It may be something to be proud of with the knowledge and potential that we possess to overcome the rest but we know that everyone has a limitation of their knowledge.And in every competition there is always a winner.But to my eyes everyone is a winner if they put in the effort to stand where they are today.

Even if we did not place or be the top in the rankings,we should be proud that we have manage to work together and help one another throughout.Like I say before,cheating is never a way to win.We can never look that as an easy way out and be happy of the marks if we did that!

This experience is quite priceless.And also the exposure.So now it is the time to get our head back in the game for the Os.

Good Luck Guys!

Denial

2010-07-18T00:20:00.004+08:00

Hey guys.It's pretty late here.And I don't know why I choose the picture above.It's nice well in an artistic kind of way.Anyway.

Another week has passed.Nothing much I can remember because my head's hurting.I will try my best to recall everything.

I will treasure my friend that has helped me along the way.However, in every friendship there is always a limitation and I will respect that line.I will help in whatever way you had done for me in return.

And to my other friend,I did not wish to be angry with you.Once you have violated my principles,I could treat you as an enemy on the spot.And I tried my best to refrain from scolding you.Why do you wish to do that? Will it benefit you in any way? Sigh. I'm trying to forget your actions and forgive you.

Today,we are going to talk about the topic "Denial".Every human loves to be in denial.Me.You.And yes Everyone else.Why do you ask? This is a human nature we practice.We do not want to show our weakness to other people or rather an embarrassment to our friends or family.Once they knew that,they would know how to tackle us down.

Being in denial is not that such a bad thing but dreading it for prolong period could turn out something different. Sometimes we just mistook things for granted and never take notice of minor details. Have you ever wondered why majority do not want to admit their mistakes? Is it because they feel a sense of guilt over them? Will there be something called "Karma" or in simpler term Retribution? Well,we can't tell because we don't know what life have in store for us,can we?

Uhh.I can't think anymore about the topic. So I'm gonna move on.

Today I went out and I had fun. :)

That's it.

Cya.

Chilly

2010-07-03T15:41:00.003+08:00

Hey readers.The school week had just started and it was tiring.Barely had enough sleep.
Well,upcoming week I would have my 'O' Level Oral MT and ABRSM.Once that is finish,I could finally concentrate on my studies.

Right now,I am feeling rather chilly.Thanks to the rain.I'm shivering,trying to hug warm stuff.Anyway,this Monday would be a holiday as it's Youth Day.And thanks to a somebody,you really treated me like a fool.I do not wish to type about it.

So,I'm gonna start anew. Forgetting everything. Renewing all friendship. Wish me luck.

Random.

2010-06-25T21:36:00.003+08:00

Hey guys.This entry is pretty much random again.We are left with a few days before school reopen and for the first day,the periods are uh..different?And we won't be having any PE lesson.Well,maybe it's for the best.The Os uh.

Now to get our head back into the game.We are only left with a few more weeks before the Preliminary Examinations and I can say that I have decided on my choice of Polytechnic.

I can't wait for school to begin.

And I'm hungry D:

Time to open the books.

Inspiration Quotes

2010-06-21T21:48:00.003+08:00

Hey Guys.I could spare a few hours here to blog about my life before this hectic week really start to move.Anyway,today's topic is "Inspirational Quotes".Well something that could motivate us or rather me.Let me share some of my Inspirational Quotes to you.Who knows,maybe you guys could get motivated too!

Let's see.First Quote:

"When you fall,Pick yourself up".This quote I learn through a music.Well,at first I have no idea what the lyrics meant until my conductor told us about it.It is about the mindset that all of us have.To endure and persevere even when the tough gets going because in this life nothing always come easy.We have to work for it.And by that we have to shed even our own sweats and tears! In Other words,if we fail we should never give up.And continuously to try and try again.

"Do It Once And Do It Well".Well,all of us hate to do repetitive work right? It is just the same old stuff.And we as human would often get tired of the same thing and in the end would just give it up.But,to achieve the sweetness in life we got to concentrate on the task given and do it well for once.So that we don't have to do it again.

"We are Never Born Stupid but Just Lazy". Okay this quote is by a friend of mine which keep on reminding me when I was in doubt of studying or rather that I would lose out.So let me share you a little bit of it.It is true that all of us have the same IQ and EQ but it is just that we didn't have the opportunity to tap it.Like some call it,there are late bloomers while there are also early bloomer to tap this potential.We do have potential but we do not know how to use it.So don't call people stupid because no one should be categorized as one.We are of the same kind~

"It is easier to be wise for others than ourselves" . Well,I think that this quote is kind of true. You know,when we talk to a person,our mind are just so clear to say out the right words just to help them back on their feet again.But when we are in a mess,we couldn't even find the words or to think properly to handle the situation and eventually breaking down in the process.We are a weird-minded mankind.

"Years teach us more than books" I believe they are talking about experiences.We can study from A to Z in the glossary of a book but we would always lack the experience.It is just like you are studying mindlessly for something that you have no idea how it would be used for in the future.You wouldn't have the feel of it.You are just told to study and that's it.In the end,there would be nothing fruitful out of it.You would just forget this unnecessary information rather that preserve it as a learning experience..

"Don't let History Repeats itself" We learn from our mistakes and move on but bearing this experience in mind,we would never take the same path again.Everyone have mistakes in their life and we move on by accepting those thing that we like to deny.We love to deny everything that we do.Come on,who want to get their reputation tainted! Once we are able to accept it,we can start to change and learn from it.This would make us stronger and better to overcome the challenges ahead.

Okay.That sums up everything.I don't think I would like to fit in all the quotes into one entry.Might save it on for future entries.

So this is what that has been happening in my life.

You guys just keep on making me confuse.Tell me.Do you really treat me as a friend.And when I am down for a little bit,you guys get mad over me for doing so.You know,sometimes people really need some peace and quiet time.People Like Me! So don't disturb me and evoke my emotions unnecessary!

And a little side note,I wouldn't want to tell the whole world I'm sick.I like to keep stuff to myself,that's the kind of person I am.Wait I just did here. Never mind about that.Anyway..

When a tie is being mended,you tried to cut it off again.What do you want to do.Do you want to cut that tie forever? Make up your mind.

And for you my friend.You promise me that you wouldn't tell.But I guess my trust has just banish.

You guys do love to play behind my backs.

And Yes,I'm sick of it!

Play all you want,I will simply ignore you!

"I am never a toy,don't treat me like one!"

Empty Classes.

2010-06-20T01:31:00.002+08:00

Hey guys.It has been quite a while.I don't know but I just feel I always start with the same introduction. >.> Well never mind about that.I only got a week to spend some time alone and it just end today for the June Holiday Period. :(

Next week will be another round of the same routine.And the week after that would be school reopen. Oh great!

Oh yeah.Last week. I went to Siti's chalet. It was awesome! Stay up till 4 and sleep but wake up at 5 and sleep again.The next day I was sick.Heh. But I never told anyone.I just went home quietly and avoid all calls.

Some of you thought that I did it on purpose.Was it my character that made such occurrence.Will you believe me if I say that I am down with a fever? Or would you still force me out?

From then till now,I didn't do anything much.

Jeez. I don't know what to blog about.

I was watching an advertisement on television by MediaCorp. A kid said "If I was the earth,would you save me?" Yeah about that.It's the Saving Gaia Project. If you really want to do something about it slow down everything,reduce the output of factories.We musn't be money-minded if we want to survive longer.

Nothing much. I'm going to sleep. [Update my Jukebox]

A Friend.

2010-06-06T18:05:00.006+08:00

Hey Readers.Today I'm gonna talk to you about a friend of mine that has been helping me throughout my secondary life.In other words,this entry is all about him.Let the essays roll in..

It was an awkward moment when we first meet.In a game that is virtual to everyone's eyes.At that moment,the feeling of trust was already there when you did something for me.I have no clue why I asked you to lend me that umbrella.

That was the first step which I'm happy about.Virtual Games does help us through life.Anyway,Continuing on..

After being bullied in my Primary School life,I graduated and went up to the Secondary School Life without any friends by my side besides than Imran.We were never in the same class not until Secondary 3.Anyway,he has been a great pal and buddy to me.At the same time,someone who understands what I was going through.He cracks jokes just to make me smile. =)

He has always been there without fail when I needed him the most.It is true that he could not help me physically but mentally and emotionally he was there when others weren't.Though this wasn't much,to me it meant something.A friend that I could finally rely on and never been back-stabbed before.

Sometimes I gazed upon the black-pitch sky and see that our life are just like the Moon and the Sun.Chasing one another.We are of a different race and religion.And yet we were able to compromise with one another.I don't know what you called it but I am one lucky kid to find another best friend like him.In this 5 years of friendship,I didn't even quarrel with him. That's great ain't it.

Up till now,our friendship still remain intact.And I wish that it would continue till the end of days.

He was really a huge step to make my life brighter than before.I'm thankful for this.And will ever be.

Picture attached below my inspiration =)
Avy dude ^^.And his name is Justin.Thanks buddy for being there for me when I needed friends the most.I know that our friendship would continue on.Although,I'm currently sitting for my 'O' Level which is like a restraint for me to meet you up.But I'm glad that you still have hopes for me even when I'm down[Emo].I'm lucky to meet you in MapleStory! I will treasure our friendship till the end of times.. .To end off,thank you! =)

My life would definitely suck without you!

Here's the lyrics to the song.

Guess this means you're sorry
You're standing at my door
Guess this means you take back
What you said before
Like how much you wanted anyone but me
Said you'd never come back
But here you are again

'Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me and honestly
My life would suck without you

Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye
Maybe I was wrong for trying to pick a fight
I know that I've got issues
But you're pretty messed up too
Either way I found out I'm nothing without you

'Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me and honestly
My life would suck without you

Being with you is so dysfunctional
I really shouldn't miss you
But I can't let you go
Oh yeah

Lalalalala...

'Cause we belong together now, yeah yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me and honestly
My life would suck without you

'Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me and honestly
My life would suck without you

Signing Off.

Abandon

2010-06-03T20:11:00.003+08:00

Another chaotic week even though it's already the holidays.And hey readers.

I know that study is important.And we just have to keep on molding ourselves beyond our limits.But today,it isn't an entry about me.I'm gonna talk about something different.

Abandon.It has seemed that every waking moment of my life seem meaningless.I have forgotten everything that we have talked about.I don't know why but I guess my memory is just really poor.And because of this,I would eventually forget that we ever had a good relationship.An object that would just sink to the bottom pit of the sea.Never be found again.

All I can say.Ever since we barely chatted,I feel that it's best for you to just forget me too.This relationship would not go any further and you know it too.I may regret by saying this.But I am only thinking for the best interest in you.

This is a final goodbye.

When we cross our path again,I am not the one that you used to love.But someone different in your eyes.

Regrets.

Cry

2010-05-25T18:58:00.004+08:00

Hey readers.It has been a long time since I have last posted here.About two weeks.And next week would be 'O' Level MT Paper.The intensive is quite fun than I expected.

Anyway,Mid Year was over.And I believe that there is always room for improvement.For now,I just want to concentrate on my MT.
Do it once and do it well.
Even though I might not ace the paper,it is the effort that counts.

I am not sure what to continue.So many things had happened.And the only way I am expressing my feeling is through music.
[P.S It's under my jukebox section.]

I am a forgiving person.I would never hold grudges.I would apologize for any mistakes that I had made to any of you.

If anyone asks,
I'll tell them we both just moved on
When people all stare
I'll pretend that I don't hear them talk
Whenever I see you,
I'll swallow my pride
and bite my tongue
Pretend I'm okay with it all
Act like there's nothing wrong

Is it over yet?
Can I open my eyes?
Is this as hard as it gets?
Is this what it feels like to really cry?
Cry

If anyone asks,
I'll tell them we just grew apart
Yeah what do I care
If they believe me or not
Whenever I feel
Your memory is breaking my heart
I'll pretend I'm okay with it all
Act like there's nothing wrong

Is it over yet?
Can I open my eyes?
Is this as hard as it gets?
Is this what it feels like to really cry?
Cry

I'm talking in circles
I'm lying, they know it
Why won't this just all go away

Is it over yet?
Can I open my eyes?
Is this as hard as it gets?
Is this what it feels like to really cry?
Cry
Cry

Entitled "Cry" by Kelly Clarkson.A friend of mine introduce it to me.The song is well-conversed.Well,you all can pushed your blame to me.I don't really mind.Because I had face much more than this.But hey,this is my life.And I can't compare to any of yours.We had our own bitterness.And some would just keep on continuing it.To suffer in pity.

I just want to get my mind of it.

Let's go to my past.

When I was young,people did not want to become my friends.They neglected me.And it was just because I cried.To them,I am a guy and yet I cried.Well,tell me who didn't cry when they were young.Okay maybe I've cried too much.And the reason is that I was just feeling lonely.I have no way to express my emotion properly.Sometimes I just feel why are they picking on me instead of other people..

Anyway,my childhood is too pathetic to talk about.Suicide,Crying in the night,Feeling so left out,Abandoned,Bullied,Mocked,Insulted.

For one thing I know,my bitterness would never end.And that fact I'm willing to accept wholeheartedly.

Addiction Kills.

2010-05-12T20:42:00.003+08:00

Hey readers.Today I'm gonna touch about my addiction on face-book.And I will stop the addiction probably by tonight.Will spend less than 30 minute on it and start revising for my O level.

I could go on for days without consuming any food or drinks.Okay not really.But I would just delay my meals to the later part of the day.That's pretty bad and unhealthy.Games can really be addictive.Yes I know and just like drug once you are addicted,its hard to put your mind off it.But face-book and drugs are two different scenario.You get the idea.Anyway,I would really like to put an end to this.I stopped an addiction of going into a game website.So I believe that I could do the same for face-book.

Even though,I still could not blame face-book for being so attractive.It is my fault for deluding myself to it.After reading some reference material,senior years could really be something that bottled our neck up.And time management is a priority during these time.And face-book is out of the time.

Well,this entry is a reminder that I should stop using Face-book and start revising seriously!
As in concentrate!

I'm gonna say this.

Bon Voyage Face-Book.

Awaken

2010-05-08T10:20:00.002+08:00

Hey readers.It have been a pretty hectic week.Few more papers to go.I have finally recover.Well,I can say that with different motto in my mind.I am now standing stronger and firmly.

Well yesterday,I was panting heavily.I thought there was something wrong with me.And I have no clue what triggered it.It seemed that I am fine right now.And that is all that matters.

When I look at the past pictures,I remembered my past.A past which I did not intend to remember.But well it came,and those were the times that I did not have a happy childhood.Those were my miserable moments.But I have move forward even if my life were at stake.I would always wished that my life would just end.I cried and cried.And it just keeps on repeating itself.I never really get tired of crying until I admit to Secondary School.

I understood my goals now.And would continue to pursue it.I will always forgive the people around me no matter what you had done to me.Even if you had embarrassed me before,I am willing to forgive you.Because there is no point holding a grudge over you.We live in this life to do what we can and not finding unnecessary burden to add on.

I would really like to thank a friend of mine.He has always been there for me when I needed the most and respected my time to console myself.Well,he is someone who could really inspire me and I'm aspire by his words to strive for my goals!

Losing It.

2010-04-30T16:07:00.003+08:00

I had finally broke down.And I felt pathetic.I just reflect myself a thing or two.I am still confuse about it.My mind tell me that I should just give it up and get a job.After numerous attempts,I have seen that "F" was already in me.And I had just been avoiding it.

I have to accept that fact and just stop what I'm doing right now.I have to admit that I am sensitive.It is ridiculous but it is what that made me.I know that I can easily be used,taking advantage on,abuse,back-stabbed,fooled,cheated,bluffed,tricked.I am just tired with all of these.I am just a fool to let you guys tricked me.

I have decided to just cease from that class!

Falling In Love.

2010-04-24T11:14:00.002+08:00

Hey readers.What a week!Barely had enough time to have some proper rest.Anyway,my condition is pretty much stable.Thanks to the drugs.

Night Class for this week had been wrapped out yesterday night.It was tiresome.But it was worth it.Since this year is the Os,my allowance had been cut short because it was directed to some other purpose.Well,I gotta survive using my savings until my Os are over.

Don't you think the picture above is just amazing? I think it is.Let's continue on.I've seen so many things happening again and this time I could not really change them.Because changes rely on each individual decision.Though,I think only a strong influence or impact could make them change for the better. Mid Year Examination is starting this following week. Managed to finish up most of my subjects.

Tell me.What are feelings?

When I'm distracted or stress,I just listen to music.It is a great way to relax.And I would just forget it away.Songs are pretty motivating! And the rhythm is just unresisting to beat with.Will add some song on the jukebox~

I'm not sure what we do is right.Intervention is something way out of the line.I tried to think it over and over of the outcome but it still doesn't look good on both parties.The probability is slightly imbalance since actions were already taken.

We are different individuals.And we have a life to move on.Even,if we look at the possibility or the plausibility of it.It is still ain't gonna work.No matter how persistent we could be,we would either end up getting it or just crying over it.Life is cruel.And it just revolves around us.Who could we lie?

Midst of Night Class

2010-04-20T22:18:00.004+08:00

Night class was awesome! Only two days of it and I felt it was just great.And hey readers.

Anyway,I pretty much love night class.The atmosphere is quite cooling and we could just put our mind off and entwine together to understand one another better.It was quite fun.I think.But the most important thing is to study and I got a thing or two about humanities.Well,tomorrow would be the revision for my other subjects in the library.

I am kind of disappointed.First of all,you consulted me before.And now we had drifted apart.But you kept on complaining to me.Let me ask you,what you gonna do about it? I cannot force you to change but only I could just advice you.

Someone told me something.And I pretty much realized something.Have I been rather in the way to all the opportunity that was destined for.Mmm.Maybe.Well thanks for the heads up.

11 more days to MYE.

Study Smart and Not Study Hard!

Night Sky.

2010-04-14T21:47:00.003+08:00

Hey readers.I have been less active as the Mid Year Examination are drawing closer.I had received a few tips from my friend.And it seems that it could just work for now.After a week of studying in school,I am just drained.

Night Class are starting pretty soon.It would be awesome,I hope.A peaceful night to just self study and staying away from distractions.I am planning to brush up my Humanities as that is my weakest subject.I will never give it up even if I had failed numerous times during the tests.It might be a great disappointment to me but if you fall you just had to pick yourself up and try again.There is no harm trying right? Failure is a stepping stone to success if we keep on persevering!

I find it rather pointless to have a re-test on the same question.I am wondering.Should I do it or not? Is it because I made so many careless mistake that this test was arranged?I really sympathize with you as you are pressurize with taking the first batch of the graduating class.

There are times when we should have fun,eat or talk in class.And there are times to just listen to what the teacher is talking.We kept on blaming that the teacher is not good or lousy. Think. We are just keep on giving excuses. And that excuses is just wasting our time when we could instead just go and learn some other stuff.

No matter how hard you had been through,your life is way better than mine.You just don't see the light.It is hard to be someone to guide the innocent.But if you are firm,it would never be.Everyone wants to pursue their future.And your capability is beyond of what you thought.Have you even think to try about it?

Nothing Ventured Nothing Gained.

Cheating

2010-04-05T18:03:00.004+08:00

Hey.School has been pretty bad lately.With humanities that I kept on failing test after the other.

I know what you are trying to say even if you are not saying to me directly.We should always persevere even if we had failed numerous times.And that's what I'm gonna do.

I want to change my place seriously~ The place I'm sitting could give me the opportunity to fall asleep.The corner,cozy,near the door seat.

CCAs have finally resumed and still thinking over the two events for this year.

Okay,well something happened.I am shocked about two different individual who told me two different stories.
Actually I hate these type of situation as it just complicates the matter even worse.Well,I had to really read between the lines to solve this one.

Had a day to slack off.It was great.The cool breeze at the dark sky with melodious tune filling up the atmosphere.I became a counselor to a friend since he looked like he needed one.You know to share someone else burden just like crying when they are.A friend.I myself am deciding.Should I see a counselor myself? Problems are just too much I guess.

Today we will touch a topic which is quite famous in schools."Cheating!"

After seeing many people cheating on their tests,I keep on wondering what is the purpose of it or the glory in it..To achieve a better grade than those that studied just by cheating? And be proud of it as you are considered the "smart" one. We are given a purpose in school and that is to study but never to cheat.

Many people derive lots of meaning to it.Cheating is not really called cheating but it is just a way to work between each other together or helping one another.I don't know but I'm sure that there are a lot more definition that was created by students.

In a test,what is the point of it for giving it in the first place if we just copy blindly without understanding and apply it to our own contextual knowledge..I really despise such character to exist.And it is true that no one had ever cheated before but cheating also does comes with a limit.And that limit had to be minimized to a near zero.

You could just apply a job as a copywriter since you are best at it.

You always thought that we could always fool the eyes of the teacher.Maybe they were sleeping or they just pretend not to see it.But deep down you will feel a guilt coming to you.Even if you don't,cheating is already wrong and by this age everyone should knows it very well.

April is here and I am still trying to figure out something.Well that sums up today post.

Till the next time.

P.S:I just wanted someone to understand between the words I said.Read between the lines! During the night,I just wanted a hug =( Maybe,it could have changed the outcome but I guess I asked for too much...Just give me some time to get a grip.

Consistency.

2010-03-29T18:25:00.002+08:00

Hey guys. : D

The holidays are pretty much over.I couldn't say much that happened during it.Well I had to thank a friend of mine who introduced a show to me.I fell in love with it because of the music.They did what I did.Express themselves through music.

Anyway,I had a talk with a friend today.I don't know but I am really open-minded to religions.In no way would I be offended because we are living in a society that consist of different races.We have to be open-minded to resolve any doubts that they have.

Being Consistent is a way to show that our life are pretty much balanced to achieve it.I wouldn't say that I could deliver a consistent result since I look at it like a roller coaster.One moment it went up and the next went down.

The Speech Day was great.Well for those whom appreciated music that is.I thought I screwed up with the prize collection.Oh well.I hope no one noticed it.

I am feeling rather enthusiastic right now.I have no clue what sparked it off.And I am trying my best not to make this post like a joke.

I am afraid aren't I.I had been feeling it for so long since young but never really faced it.It is true.I keep on pushing it aside.I do not have the courage to face it alone.And in the end this problem would just get complicated to solve.For instance,I do not even know something about me which could really change my life upon it's decision.

I am afraid : (

Leaving.

2010-03-23T21:30:00.002+08:00

Hey guys.The long jump event was a failure in some sense.I keep on looking at the final board and didn't even face what is ahead of me,ending up to land with my body face flat.

Oh well.What is done is done.

Should we leave a person that we care about.A person which doesn't really bother to make a change in their life after so many attempts.Sometimes you guys really mystify me about all of your plans.I could never restraint from what you are doing.It's your life and I am not your parents to do so.But it just hurts.To see all of you just wasting your life here...

Punishment has been served.Only one day.Another 7 months 30 days left.

Should really be motivated.

Tomorrow will be busy with rehearsal and another tuition.Hope I could start to organize myself by next week after everything is done.

I really wish to apologize.But no matter how many times I do,I will just end up scolding you over and over again.Maybe I feel irritated of your actions.And it is my fault for scolding you too much when it is not my business anyway.

I have no intention to treat you this way.Should I just ignore you?

This Friday would be Speech Day.And I'm done with it.Studies will be coming after this if there's nothing on.

Good luck Guys!

Letting Go

2010-03-21T21:58:00.004+08:00

Hey guys.The holidays are ending in 2 hours from this post.And school will be starting another 8 hours.

This coming week will be busy!

Anyway a few updates.

Things have hit rock-bottom for me.And I am serving my punishment starting from tonight.I will still be able to online and all.But this time I have decided to change something.

It could be that this is a wake up call for me and no more playing.I have wasted 3 months for nothing and I could really say that I did waste my time.There are things which I could buy over time but my studies couldn't.I had been a fooled to be falling for everything that is right under my eyes.

This change will start and will start now.It is for my sake I guess.

Reducing of socializing or cutting it off is either way I could think of as a solution.I'm just wasting my saliva aren't I.

It seems that I have to work alone now.I couldn't rely on people so much because they have their own life to carry on and if I just bug them,they would get rather annoyed.

I am letting go of everything.Grudges,Pain,Suffering,Relationship and everything else.I am just willing to forgive and forget at this moment of time.And Shall I not remember it anymore.

I felt ashamed.I should have done this few years back...

This is the final year we are here.And it is time to make a difference in everyone life.But it depends on the situation.

I still haven't found a friend who will have my back when I'm in trouble and I got theirs when they are.And will help in whatever problem.And will never take advantage of one another nor stabbing our back for their own personal gain..A friend..Where are you?

A long time.

2010-03-17T20:58:00.003+08:00

Hey guys.Whew.What a week.Well as all of you might know,now is the March 'holidays'.In a sense,I don't really called it much of a holiday because every time after morning class,I would have to make a trip down to the hospital until the late night.Well today, I didn't went there as I was really drained from yesterday and along with today's class.Probably I will go on tomorrow onwards.

So guys,all plans made have to be cancel for the time being.

My punishment would be starting in two days time as at the date of this post.8 months of containment straight after school hours.And next week would be the last minute preparation of Speech Day.Too late isn't it?

Anyway,life has been busy.And after seeing my result,I am rather disappointed.I could never pursue the course I wanted.I guess I would have to focus more.

Long Jump Event is coming up soon.Ugh.I hope there won't be any clash or I will be pissed off with these last minute rehearsal.

What should I type.

Currently no dilemma.

Things to do for this week:
Brush up my previous year study.
Revision should probably start now.So guys who want to find me can contact me.
Finish up homework.

Thinking of doing a cover.But it seems like I don't have a time for it.If I rush it,it would be crappy.

Anyway,I think that's about it that happened recently.

See ya.

School

2010-03-09T16:25:00.004+08:00

Hey readers.School has been rather stressful with new stuff being taught.And also this friendship.

I had failed one of my subject in this term Common Test.I was rather disappointed.Life is really unfair and I myself could not fight for it since I am usually outnumbered.

What is it that is worth fighting for.I used to believe in justice but if this is how protocol are followed,I could not object to it.

Popularity is what people always look out for.They wanted to be popular within their members.In other words CLIQUES or just their classmates.I find it rather annoying to be in such group.

I had offered myself to be alone but you yourself object to it strongly.Tell me honestly.We had been friends for quite some time and you should know that I am capable in handling it myself.If you want a place,I don't mind giving it up.But to talk behind my back is way out of the point.I would never accept this.

I hate it! I hate it when people say that I have a soft heart!

Is it wrong to forgive people.Isn't that what people always told us to do.Not to bear any grudges against them.And yet,I am always the one taking advantage of.I know that this is the reality we are facing.I just don't know what to do.The O's level are coming up and yet I'm facing with so many problem.I wanted to focus.I wanted to get into a good course for my future.

Why am I always facing with so many obstacles in life.You had made me for what I am.And yet I had to persevere all this while carrying all the burden which I had hid it away for now.

Should I just accept whatever people ask or tell me to do.
It just feel like you are being somebody's pet.Acting without you thinking twice.

I'm so depressed.

Another competition had been ended and it is just the same story from my previous entry about "Competition".I do not want to say anything about it because what I feel is that everything was just wrong.Nothing was taken into consideration!

This life of mine is getting corrupted day by day.And so are the people around me.I just want to be alone in class.

Place me somewhere which I don't have any partner.It is safer for me.I do not want any happiness.I just want to be silent.I don't believe in happiness.I want to cast off that emotion away.

I feel like dying.My head is going to explode any second..

We are facing to an extinction of the final era.The conditions are getting worse with even more floods and earthquake occurring every part of the world.This could really just be the end.

Ughh.My head hurts..I will continue this some other time.

The Butterfly Effect

2010-03-01T19:28:00.002+08:00

The butterfly effect.An effect in which we change or alter something,everything else would be affected.It also does follow the domino theory and the difference is just the speed for it to occur.

We had finally gotten back our common test result and it seemed that I had done rather badly.This is what you get for expecting too much in which I could not even deliver.

Focusing on the topic above.

All of us have our own weaknesses and strengths.Only the capabilities of each individual could contribute to an assignment.Of course,the dedication too.However,a mere speculation was created and proven which led to many people think differently towards us.I knew that this would happen.Because these weaknesses are those that people took advantage of even if it were to tarnish a person's status.

It is true that we shouldn't cry over spilled milk.However,when it come to fight the rights for someone.It changes the whole situation.

Rumors can be spread easily.Some are easily influenced by it and some aren't.This is what you called The Butterfly Effect.It affects those that are involved to the targeted person and those that surrounding it.

Anyway,school have been very bad recently just because of a project.This is why we couldn't rely on each other too much.The truth does reveal our ugly side.But as a group,if one had to fall,the rest would follow.And I had stressed so many times about the role of being a leader.You may lie but it will lead to nowhere...

"Only time will reveal the truth"

Why can't I?

2010-02-26T20:10:00.004+08:00

The common test is finally over.And it's been great without any homework but each night just feel so lethargic.Let's see what happen the past few days..

I broke down.Yes it is not a joke.I cried.You guys must think how stupid I am to cry.Well,when you cannot take it anymore you just have to let all the emotions out.Why did I cry.Upon hearing the song on my play-list repetitively,I had some flash back and thoughts about the misfortune of my life and just broke down.

It had been tough on me because it was just some time back that I managed to forgot everything,these misfortune and yet it came back few days ago.

I used to see this world as a cold and feel misanthropy.I was honestly pessimistic because I didn't had a wonderful childhood like any other typical student.I was bullied,cheated,used and took advantage of.I was fooled easily also.Basically my primary school is like a graveyard for me.And another thing that give me a disadvantage is myself.

I never liked myself.Okay I hated myself and now despise it even more.But I know that this is the reality and still have to move on with my life irregardless of the reason.I thought of suicide several times and the feeling of isolationism from my loved one.

I didn't get any love since the day I was born.I observed it even during my special occasion.The more I grew older,the more I didn't feel like celebrating it because the outcome would just be the same.There's no point for it.

Since I knew about my common test result,I felt like giving up right now.I for the first time failed my test which would be reflected in the report book.I just do not want to study anymore.I would rather go to the ITE.

I rant too much.I should go and sulk myself..Maybe death isn't a bad thing at all..

"I am a failure to everyone and the people around me.."

I don't want to lose you as a friend.We had been friends for at least a decade.Each of us might be down at different things and we would have the time to laugh our head off.But losing you would feel another part of me is taken away.Someone that I had shared my secrets and been there for me when I'm down.You are one friend that I could not let go off..I would go an extra mile to help you in whatever ability that I could..

Outcry

2010-02-22T17:45:00.002+08:00

It had been quite a while since I last visit here.I have been pretty busy myself with an English project.It was a great disaster to begin with.And I just feel like deleting it.Although it's too late.

Someone sent me quite a well written song and I have been listening since the past few hours.It can really move a person emotion and really reflect on anything.To me,it made me more understand to see the past and not take everything that people just give to me.I had to be firm but I didn't.Maybe I couldn't.And I was too soft when people wanted me back.A great disappointment..

I felt like crying upon hearing this song.It made me realize so many mistake I had made for the past years of my life.I wanted to repent.I wanted to change myself.But why couldn't I.Something is just holding me back.

When would be the time? For me to change.I am willing to be closer to you.Even if I were to sacrifice all of my friends.I don't mind living in solitariness.I had been there before and I could go there once more.

I want to cleanse away all of my sin away.And forget everything about it.

I will not post until the end of this week since there would be common test.Basically this is the post there will be here until few more days ahead.

I had been a fooled for not taking it so seriously.And when I did something against my religion.It lose my faith in it for a while because I did not abide by it's rules and regulation.

What did I do.

Why was i being so naive about this world.

I may think pessimistic about it but there is a limit and I had forgotten about it.Now is the time to change..

Grant me my wish.Repent.

The Obvious

2010-02-15T18:17:00.002+08:00

This past few days have been rather busy.And I am left with a day to finish it off before the school reopen.

It seemed so obvious in my eyes.You might want me to be there with you but your emotions are showing me otherwise.We might be the closest friend compared to other people.I have tried to let you go so many times.To me,it seems that you have already fallen for him.Your emotions could move and stay only by him alone.And I am never in that position to stop it to happen.

I may want all of us to be friends.Yet all of us have a certain limit because we are still in the position of friends,nothing more nor less.And this line that I drew is very clear to you but you kept on erasing it..I have to stay strong to move on with myself.And I am willing to let you go as a friend or..enemy.Because to me I have already seen the obvious in my eyes and could no longer change that.No matter the attempts,I could no longer persevere the relationship.

Alright.That's what on my mind just now.Since I found a song which I could relate to.I could stay focus but not complacent.People can call me whatever they want.Paranoid.Insecure.Stick-man.Ugly.I'm sick of it to entertain all of your comments anymore!

An advice from me.GET A LIFE!

I won't heed any of your comments because it won't benefit me in any way.And there is no point for me to break down over it.I know myself well and you don't have to repeat it in the public.Do you like me getting embarrassed? If so,what kind of friend you are? What kind of heart you got? Look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself that. You might want to hear the good things about you and gossips about other people just because we are the unfortunate one which does not have what you have.

This life might be unfair to us.So,is that even your problem? If you do not want to help us,stay away then.

Jokes are jokes.But if you hurt a person feeling even without seeing an emotional expression.You have already cross the line.Jokes.It is to make people laugh as whole and not just by a mere group while the other got embarrassed about it...

I talked too much.And I don't care what I typed.I will continue with a short paragraph below this sentence.

When a person cry and another individual by its side cried.It shows that we share the pain together and understand the situation we were in.Or someone that wanted to help retaliate against the one that make the person cried is rather a courageous act.No one seems to act this way.They would either just walk off or become a busybody.Not even sparing a thought about the person crying.

Well.That's the end of my thoughts for the day.

Trapped

2010-02-10T19:59:00.003+08:00

Hello readers.School have been moderately fine for me.There were a lot of things happening within our four walls.Well they happen for a reason right.Classes have been alright so far.

Look into the eye of the cat and feel its' situation.

We are people who possess different authority to retaliate against one another.Everything always happen and we are always trying to grasp for air from the outside world but always to no avail.Some of us may classify ourselves as "weak" but we are not what you think we are.We had stand together and fall together.And this is where we stood today.Although I can see that you are trying to divide us.In a day,we could wreck what we have between us and became what you want us to be.Bear this in mind,you can do whatever you want but our ties are much closer than you think they are.

Yawn.I don't know what to blog about anyway.I will end it here until I think of something fascinating.

The Moon

2010-02-08T19:36:00.007+08:00

Hello readers.I had this ridiculous routine which goes on and on for the rest of this year.And have little free time for myself.

Monday-Friday:School
Saturday:Work
Sunday:Religious School

Pathetic right.Anyway school has been great.The Common Test would be starting pretty soon after the Chinese New Year.I have flunked my test pretty badly.And today I've done the first Chemistry Test for this year.I hope I could pass it since I got a few wrong.

Here is a few of the things I want to do in the upcoming week
-Celebrate Chinese New Year
-Make a video
-Have some free time for myself
-Relax
-Sleep
-Not to be late for school[Priority!]

I'm gonna start pretty soon with my homework.It is given today and due tomorrow.So many things need to finish up.Mathematics Class has been going smoothly and it does help us in some way.Chemistry were pretty much the same.And so is the rest of the lesson

Someone told me that I should not stretch myself meaning my limit and potentials.Well I could relate her sayings' to a song.Though it's in Japanese.It has a nice tune to it.Feel free to listen to it under my Music Section on the sidebar.

A side note to today's weather.It felt like I was burning up as I took each step.Now we have to suffer the consequences of the things which they had failed to fix..

Here's the lyrics,first of all in Japanese[Kanji] Romanji and English.

Kanji
気が付けばほら喜びもわけあえる
無理しなくていいんだ今僕は独りじゃないから

少しずつ変わり出した信じ合える絆にむかって

挫けそうになる日も君がいて
震える手を力に変えるんだ
当たり前の時間を一秒でも
君と越えて行きたい

気がつけばまだしゃがみこむ古傷に
呑み込まれそうになる時は君を思うよ

少しだけ進めたかな許し合える強さに向かって

挫けそうになる日も君がいて
乗り越えよう素直に思うんだ
ありきたりな事しか出来ないけど
いつも支え合いたい

しまい込んだ希望勇気愛情全てが
君と出逢って少しずつ輝く世界

君がいれば何度も立ち上がろう
震える手も力に変わるんだ
当たり前の時間を一秒でも
君と共に

挫けそうになる日も君がいて
乗り越えよう肩を叩く君に
ありきたりな事しか言えないけど
いつも届けありがとう

Romanji
ki ga tsukeba hora yorokobi mo wake aeru
muri shinakute iin da ima boku wa hitori janai kara

sukoshi zutsu kawari dashita shinji aeru kizuna ni mukatte

kujikesou ni naru hi mo kimi ga ite
furueru te wo chikara ni kaerun da
atari mae no jikan wo ichibyou demo
kimi to koete ikitai

ki ga tsukeba mada shagami komu furukizu ni
nomi komare sou ni naru toki wa kimi wo omou yo

sukoshi dake susumeta ka na yurushi aeru tsuyosa ni mukatte

kujikesou ni naru hi mo kimi ga ite
norikoeyou sunao ni omoun da
arikitari na koto shika dekinai kedo
itsumo sasae aitai

shimai konda kibou yume aijou subete ga
kimi to deatte sukoshi zutsu kagayaku sekai

kimi ga ireba nando mo tachi agarou
furueru te mo chikara ni kawarun da
atari mae no jikan wo ichibyou demo
kimi to tomo ni

kujikesou ni naru hi mo kimi ga ite
norikoeyou kata wo tataku kimi ni
arikitari na koto shika ienai kedo
itsumo todoke arigatou

English
Before I knew it, I had learned to share my joys with others.
There’s no need to push myself past my limits, because the person I am right now is not alone.

Little by little, I grew to change, as we moved towards a bond that we can both put faith in.

Even on days full of discouragement, you were there beside me,
Thus changing these trembling hands into strength.
I want to extend for even a second longer the time we take for granted,
If it means being able to spend it with you.

Before I knew it, I found myself still nursing old wounds.
Whenever they’re close to swallowing me up whole, I think of you.

I wonder if I’ve advanced a little further towards a strength that we can both accept.

Even on days full of discouragement, you were there beside me,
Thus making me honestly believe that I could overcome anything.
Although I can only make commonplace gestures, I wish we will forever continue
Holding each other up.

All of my hope, dreams, and love, I had locked away.
But ever since I met you, the world seems to glow, little by little.

With you by my side, I will stand back up time and time again,
And change these trembling hands into strength.
That extra second squeezed out of the time we take for granted,
I will spend with you.

Even on days full of discouragement, you were there beside me,
Slapping my shoulder reassuringly so that I may overcome.
Although I can only speak in cliches, I hope my thanks still reach you,
Always.

-End of Lyric-

Well this song goes to her.It is good to share things right.It might reflect a different meaning to you but my meaning in this song is far than enough to move on in my life.I didn't know why I had forgotten this song few months ago.Finally to have my mind that were used to be in all places back at one.

I did locked my dreams,hope and love to my life.And that is why I could not decide my future.Maybe it is still hidden away.Well I'm trying to gain it little by little because I know that someone out there is trying to make a change in my life and will persevere until I had overcome all obstacle.Standing beside and supporting me throughout my discouragement days.Just like the day that I was unlucky.Everything I touch broke or fell out of place.I have always appreciated the stuff you did and am always greatful!

Got to do my homework.Sayonara minna!

Competition

2010-02-04T20:33:00.003+08:00

Hello guys.Let me start of with a big thanks for visiting my blog to every readers.Anyway,today I have so many things to blog about and someone is checking up on my grammatical mistakes.So I have to be careful!

Yikes!

The word "competition",have you ever understand the definition of it? To me,it means we are competing against another individual to get something as a reward.

Since the start of a competition,we are always full of ideas and plan to carry it out.Though our vision seemed perfect but putting it up is rather hard.There are always rules and regulation we have to follow in a competition.It does not matter how we do it.When we are participating in a competition,we must have a certain attitude.

Firstly.We should do to our best capability.
Second.Winning is not the only thing in a competition but effort.
Third.If we didn't win we should never insult the winner but instead respect for their hard work achievement
Fourth.If people cheated or use external aid to win in a competition,we should never go an eye for an eye!

We should always respect our competitors.
We should always show our support to them even if we lose.
In the end,we are from the same sports.

Never treat this as a joke.

Although we might be beaten just because of an age difference,but that will never be the case.We live in a society whereby places follow rules and regulation.Yet,we emphasize on the need of multi-racial in our society and just because of an age difference/skills or experience made us turn into someone we are not.

For example,all of us are in a school.Yet our results are compared to a group of classes.This is because we are taking the same examination and we ourselves only have a different pace in learning.Do we have the right to bad-mouth someone who acquire a knowledge far more better than us?

I don't think so and don't even think about it.

And that conclude the topic on "Competition".

Today,lesson was fine and I was just demoralize after our break time.So many things rushed into my mind to and fro.At some time,I felt like sleeping.And there were times,I was being pessimistic.

I felt rather worried sometimes that you did not even bother to take care of your health.You are clearly sick and yet you still want to go out.And the consequences is that you would take Medical Leave again,skipping more and more lesson.

I was hoping that I could believe into something and work it out.But those words you said to me and the concrete evidence just made me want to stay away from you.I am a person who is sensitive with words.Though I don't show it.It is in fact like a needle piercing through my heart.Do you know how much needle I had been pierced with.I still remember my first one when I was still young,even before Kindergarten.

No one has a perfect life and my life is just having too much flaws.

Secrecy

2010-02-03T20:20:00.003+08:00

Hello readers.This picture looks like something is flying.I don't really know if it is suppose to be a ghost picture but I just find it unique.

Back on today's topic.This week is another tough week.I feel like I am lacking of sleep and the only day I could get plenty of it would be Sunday.

I myself can see what you want but I am not there to give in to your every demand.We have our own pride and dignity to uphold.You say that you may understand my problem.And we have been so close till then.But you are blinded,you are too pampered with the people around you.You should realize that when an opportunity was given,you should take it even if it was to take my happiness away from me..

In a place where two worlds exist between us.It felt that our behavior spoke otherwise in reality than the cyber-world.We had tried to co-exist the communication we had.To me,it is not that I don't want to.We are just surrounded with so many "kay-pohs".It is easy to cause a misunderstand and lose them than to treasure with the people you have.

Upon seeing your character,I understood so many things.And sometimes you were just merely hiding it.We may have our time to laugh and time to do work.We may see so many wonders in which we did not use to appreciate before.We have learn the meaning of dedication and hard work.All we need is left would be attitude..

Okay I'm done blabbering nonsense.I feel so tired and would love to fall asleep right now.Tomorrow there will be another humanity test.Yawn.

I am putting my revision aside for a while.I need to get the rest I need! Here is where I end.

Oyasuminasai!

Random Thoughts

2010-02-01T19:06:00.009+08:00

Hello readers.It had been a while.Well I managed to finish all my task last week and one of it was a composition..I wrote about my dream well the story a personal recount.I hope that the teacher would not laugh it off.Well I wrote it as it was way out of down to earth thing.I think..

Anyway,our class basically sum up to 40 people.That's quite a lot right don't you agree? This week there will be so many upcoming test and I should stop using this tone in this entry..

-Silent-

It is already the month of February.It felt so hard.It is also so tiring at the same time.And yet I could sense another obstacle will be in my way once more on the upcoming days.Mmm.So many things to do and yet so little time.

Looks are deceiving I tell you.If we are hardworking doesn't mean that it is a guarantee that we would pass our examination I was referring to the 'O's.It is like my Ex Form teacher used to say.What is the amount of effort that we put in since we said that we worked hard for it

Last but not least.The Maths class was awesome! Yeah I said it.It's fantastic.A class which I would love to go to everyday! Wohoo. It is not the teacher.It is the number of student.

When I came across this topic like "Dreams" , "Your Ambitions" "Your Future". I would stone for a minute or two.I could never really figure out my dream or ambitions.And I have been thinking about it since I was young.I'm worried.

Help me out here guys.Drop me a tag in the chatbox saying which job I would be appropriate to be.Please no ridiculous job..

Tell me heart,what should I be.Please tell me.I am on the verge of breaking down.I do not possess an ambition nor a career path.Why should I do well if I have nothing to aim for.Tell me Please.I need it.The drive of my motivation is diminishing slowly.I really need it.What am I capable to be as? Why did I have so many set-back in life and yet this is another obstacle along the way..Who should I be? What I am suppose to be and yet here I am.On this ground solid earth..

안녕히 가세요

Wishing

2010-01-27T21:59:00.003+08:00

Hey readers.Today I basically figure out how to read notes.Pretty simple just by looking at it.Well,I am here blogging since I have finish all homework for today and are left to memorize humanities test for tomorrow.

Okay basically I put up random pictures and I try to make it relevant to the topic I am talking in each entry.But the problem is that the picture keep on disappearing and I have to search for a new one to replace it.

Tomorrow school will be as normal.

I have this bad feeling being around you.Sometimes I tried to hide it so that you would not notice.I heard rumors and stories about you.And I sometimes could not believe that such people still exist in this world.You would make me be in amazement and sometimes puzzled my thinking.You are one of a kind.A kind that should repent.

I learn something over the past few days.Trust No One!.Okay well I have observed something.People would make use of the things you said.Even if you think that it might not be wrong,they could turn the tides around.We could never underestimate anyone here because we have never met for two month and who knows what kind of skills or knowledge they had picked up along the way..

I know what I need to know and that is enough.I am in no position to be a complacent student to you..

Tomorrow,we will have to write another essay I guess.The topic would be dreams.What is my dreams?.Well,it will be a tough essay for me.To support my parents,To enjoy bachelorhood,Achieve an education? Get a good result in 'O's is a definite must! Maybe it's relating to my dream when I'm asleep.If I could write that,there will be a bunch of stories to it!

That's the end of my post.Good night readers!

Broken

2010-01-25T20:10:00.006+08:00

Hello readers.I have some dire news.I feel that my shoulder which is on the left is just out of place.Seriously.I woke up this morning and I was moaning for pain.Don't think that I was referring to other things.Anyway,I could barely sleep last night.The pain was rather painful this morning compared to now which already have subsided for a while.I hope that it's just an over work tissue muscle or something not so serious.

Putting that aside..

This week there is another change to our time table.Let it be fixed for once.We are going to end our first month of this year already.

The intensive revision is not going so well as I picture it.I need to improve and discipline myself.What should I say.Mmm.So far,lesson were pretty boring as usual.And I think I forgot what I should blog about beside than my shoulder.

Well I'm off for a run! Maybe something will inspire me out there..If not,too bad..

Well I am back since an hour.It was a rather nice scenery.And nothing did happen at there as I hope it would.So basically I would end this entry by the following paragraph:

This year our time are really scarce compared to last year.I can see that your playfulness is trying to unveil on your character.I am in no rights to deny your actions nor I could condemn it if I would.It is your choice to make for your future and I am always be there if you need help.For now,we have gone our separate ways.And barely communicate in a locked closed room.Maybe it is for the best.You have most of the friends there and I have a certain number.

That's it! See Ya!

Bad Luck

2010-01-22T19:40:00.004+08:00

Hello readers.It had been a while.There are many things that had happen lately.Some were after school matters like CCA and some were during school.Though there are some that are at home.Well,I could not really balance into all of this at one time and I would just drag one of the other to a different atmosphere.

Anyway,today.I had some really bad luck here.First of all school start and it was so obvious that it is going to rain and yet we are still having morning assembly.It's a good thing that it didn't start to pour yet.Well when we reach to our class it was worse than expected.And something happen during class and I was at fault.I find it rather shocking.And I was being over-paranoid for the whole day.Though,the thing got fixed thanks to my classmates.Appreciate their help.Well I got bruises from it and some scratch mark for my stupid action.I deserve it...

Next lesson was another mishap,an acid was about to spill and I knocked on my friend's apparatus.It broke -.-.Pathetic.After that,I was being more and more paranoid about these two things.One of my friend told me that I should stop acting this way.Uhh.Well I did few hours later.

Well that's all.I should go and cleanse myself. =.=|| . I hate today!

Welcome to my life.

2010-01-19T19:51:00.002+08:00

Another day has come to an end.And today was the first time that I had no homework since the past week.So many misunderstanding have happen between all that surrounded me.I once told you that something will happen and you don't really see the obvious.Even I take all the trouble to message you about it.And you did not react to it.Now is just too late.There is always a mediator in this situation and this time it is not me to do it.I will be an oppressive side until the truth is out.In other words I will be stubborn.Or I would just forget about it and move on with my life.The third choice sounds better.Well,third choice it is.

We have reached the age of maturity.And we should start behaving like one.It is good to just have a good laugh and relax for once after all the work we had done.And sometimes there are problem that are needed to reassess with proper ways and not just put it aside letting it rot away..

It seems that you don't really give an understanding to what I am trying to show.I have told you once and that will be it.I have no intention to persist in this matter and would just continue what I am doing.It is wrong some of you say.But for once.Hear my side of the story.If I am the only voice that believe in justice,I will still persevere till the end.

My grades are dropping dramatically.And I am beginning to hate my life once more.This is natural occurrence I presume.And this time there will be no one to save me.

Lesson Learn

2010-01-16T00:42:00.003+08:00

Since the last few days,I have learn so much things.Some were based on reality while some were just a made up fiction.I could not really stop watching these videos as they gave me a new life.A new beginning and to forget all those past unhappiness.It felt like a good beginning is ahead for me.It gave me the motivation and encourages me to strive for the better future ahead.Though,the past still remains.

All of us should respect and be kind towards one another because we are all connected.We understand the needs to help others.That initiative.Even if it were to be a single individual,it still shows that we are still connected as the human race.And we should never torment our race so lowly unless it had to be done.Some of us might be the one scolding another person's lack of ability and why would we waste time instead by helping them to make it innovative.We have to help one another and realize them their mistakes.

Well.Honestly right now I just feel motivated to do anything to its fullest.Life is like a roller coaster and there is no point dwelling over it.Having this mindset could bring any of us ahead.We are for who we are and no one is perfect by nature!

Being Prudence..

Fooled

2010-01-13T18:04:00.003+08:00

Hello readers.

I have figured out something rather disturbing.I don't know if you would call it that.The story starts like this..

Each day I sense the presence of a fake mask that you tried to put on.You never really want to face the truth or maybe the reality that this world had offered to not only you but all of us.You would always avoid the subject when I tried to bring it up to you face to face.And yet you would always approach me through other methods of communication.You wanted to change to your previous life.And I would never stand in your way of your choice.But everytime your actions keep showing me that you still want the life that you currently are living..You have act rashly without thinking it thoroughly in a situation without even thinking who might be affected by your actions.We have lost trust in one another and I can see that you are just thinking for your own sake..And all of us are just fool by you.

Alright that's about it.I don't really like to talk about people and would just focus on the world.Global warming,Air Pollution etc etc.

Anyway,today have been another great day to wake up at 8.00am before going to school.I was rather lazy on waking up this morning and it was a good thing I wasn't late even though people find it weird that I lived so close to it and could be late.Well that's me.

Yesterday intensive revision was a failure since I got tired after finishing up my homework and today would be another attempt for it.Well that's it guys.

See Ya!

Lies

2010-01-12T15:10:00.003+08:00

Today is already the start of the second week and I find it rather disappointing.It is not about my mathematics result but it's about someone.We could be the best of friends for a moment and become enemies for a second.Regardless of your persistence,it could never get the best out of me.Here we are finding ways to succeed in our secondary life and some that seems that they are still not serious about it.

The intensive revision should start today well basically home study.For the first time I'm doing like this..I got to aim higher and there is always room for improvement for the things which I lack of and this was the time I was doing at home.Usually I would just watch anime and just hear music.And now is the time to focus on my language because it would make much of a difference.

We know how good you are.And we know what you have done.We respect for who you are.There are times when you need to be serious.And it is true there are times we should just enjoy our last and final year of our secondary life again.Once more we would bid our final goodbye to our "friends".Everyone is unique in their own special ways.Nothing more Nothing less.Some are full of courteous act while some are just laid-back..We are different and should never be complacent even at a time like this.

There is really no point using our N level points with the O level standard.The gap is too wide and we were mistakenly tricked by it.Time is running short this year and more topics are just being stuff in our heads.Could we even handle the situation when WE are the one that would be taking the result on the upcoming January 2011.Will we shed what you call Crocodile Tears? Or be joyous for what we get in the near future...

What should we or maybe I even do..Adapt is the only word i could think of..

Trust

2010-01-10T17:54:00.002+08:00

Isn't this picture just cute.You won't be alone rabbit.I think.Let me hug you.*Hug*

Right anyway.Here's the story for today.

Went for Poly visits bla bla bla.Walk here walk there and I'm interested in a rather specific course.Though they never show on their website itself.Have to work hard to get into that course.I'm not sure if I am passionate about it.It could only be just my desire..

Sometimes I told your dirty little secrets to you and it seems that you act too rashly about it.As a friend,I would always advice you and just find the truth about the incident before jumping to conclusion.Your act could jeopardize the people that were involved which is their trust and friendship between one another.It is true that you are older than me by age and I see no difference in your thinking about handling these type of situation.Let it be a lesson and hope that it would not repeat once more...

Alright Readers! Enough of talking serious.First of all,I don't think I would be applying for Direct Polytechnic Admission(DPA).And that is because I don't have a talent that is rather relevant to the course that I'm interested in.

Second of All.Anyone that is reading this and own an 'O' level notes/books no longer in use can donate it to me? I'm looking for subjects like Mathematics,Principle of Accounts,Science (Physics/Chemistry). Even if the science is pure syllabus,I don't mind.If you have notes that focus on language and you think it's useful I don't mind taking it either.Drop me a message at the chatbox/msn/facebook/SMS.

Tomorrow will be the start of the second week and let's gear up things the way it should! The Orientation was a success in some way.Well I screw up most of it.And I humbly apologize for my mistakes.It is a brand new day tomorrow and it is good to start a new.Afresh.

Well that's all.Signing Off.

P.S Good luck to all 'O' level candidates for tomorrow results!

See Ya!

Ending

2010-01-07T20:24:00.002+08:00

Finally it is going to be the last day of the first week of school tomorrow.This week is just so packed with Secondary 1 Orientation along with supplementary classes and also activities after school.Tomorrow would be another long day and would probably end up home either at 6 or 7pm.And I'm here typing away just after the visit to Ngee Ann Polytechnic.

I'm wondering what course I should take.Cause I have no interest in the course they are offering and yet I'm thinking of applying DPA.

I have nothing to talk about really.Just that it's been too busy and I hardly notice anything during and after school.Next week going to start a different routine than this week.And hope that it would benefit everyone.

Sianx.

Inadaptable

2010-01-05T14:35:00.002+08:00

School has been pretty rough and it is only the second day.The first day of school start of yesterday by the pouring of teardrops from the sky and everything was pretty much fine.Briefing about everything on the first day.

And yet today was the start of the first lesson.It was pretty much boring that I could really felt asleep during class.Maybe it is because it's too comfortable.Anyway,I got scolded pretty much lately.From parents and teachers.I could barely understand anything during physics lesson.Maybe I'm not ready to adapt since Secondary 2 of her last teaching.

And soon I have to go and water the plants. O.O That's for now.Will update tomorrow..

Tomorrow will have another briefing about these rumored "8 page rule".Tune in tomorrow.

Insecure

2010-01-02T21:42:00.003+08:00

Happy New Year readers.Ugh.I'm pissed off right now.Many of you guys would say about why I tend to get over react on little things.Well this is because this is me and nothing could change that.You can gossip whatever you want.I am for what I am.And nothing could change that fact.I find it rather pathetic when we are the one on the ground begging for help when none is offered.It felt like we stoop so low to that level.

Let me be direct.I feel that trusting my friends just keep on getting harder.I don't know who feels guilty but I'm stating what I feel and it is true.Ever heard that "Even the smallest deed could bring about another person's happiness".Okay maybe you guys never heard of it before.Maybe it never even exist.I don't know!

I don't want talk about it anymore.I would type shit language if I did.

I never try so hard just to be the person to worry about small little things for a period of time.Sometimes the actions you guys made just make me worried sick.Well why? Cause I'm your friend and I care about your concern.And now it seems you guys don't give a damn about it to my face or behind my back.

Ignorance

2009-12-31T12:28:00.003+08:00

This morning I woke up with a weird dream.Ugh..Everyone in my dream started to ignore me but I saw someone in that dream that was happy than right now.Are these dreams meant to be the future of our friendship or are just the desire of my own mind.

New year is basically 4 hr and 30 minutes away from this post.And I got nothing to blog about.

Well at least I think I have something to blog about.

Now all of us know which class we are allocated to thanks to some of my classmates.Although the timetable they purposely made it more complex even though it is actually simple.

And about the new 8 page rules being enforce like 4 more days when the school reopen.Isn't that a bit too much?Well in my opinion I feel it is.And I could just burst into laughter about some of the rules.

Rules are rules.No matter how ridiculous they are.

Tonight it would be a quiet night for me.I don't know it could be the last one for me before my first brother come back tomorrow from China while my second brother who is currently working overtime until tomorrow morning.In other words,I'm spending my night alone which rarely happen to me.I'm not planning to sleep with my parents.How old am I?! 4? Of course not 16!.

But it would be pretty quiet.Silent night.

Inspiration

2009-12-30T14:02:00.004+08:00

Dreams always remain like dreams and they are never being fulfill.And yet now we are left two more days till new year.

Have we accomplished our 2009 new year resolution.

Well Hello readers.New year is coming.Are you excited about it? Another year has gone in a flash.And I can say that this year is rather more interesting than the previous one.Well basically,I have made more new friends until this day.Well I am happy about that I guess.Next year would come and go just like every previous year.

Uh..What should I say..*Brain-Storm*

Eureka!Okay that's lame.Continuing On..A person can hold grudges easily but letting it go is very hard.All of us,inside in our mentality we have this thing called desire.A person can put their mind and soul to it just to get what their heart desire.Be it another person dying,presents,guys/girls etc.

It seems that we have gotten into a deeper meaning to our relationship but to me it seems that it was a bad choice to do it.Is it me or was it you? I feel so insecure being around you anymore and sometimes irritated or even annoyed.Maybe it was my fault.I think it would be best to stop at this very point of time before it got way out of hand.

Uhm.Don't think that it was referring to you.I know who you are but it is not you you know?Don't misunderstand.

Falling in love at first sight is like magic right.And dreams that seems so surreal make it like a reality brings about our happiness..But our paths would never cross.I think.Well literally.You are a different type of person and so am I.I would always think the best for you and would never do anything to annoy you.

Eh.This is the same.Not referring to you if you think I am.If you feel you fit what I did it is meant for you.

Ahahahaha.I'm talking nonsense.Just filing up these entry.School should start soon so that I have something to talk about..

Signing Off.

Changes

2009-12-28T21:56:00.004+08:00

Another day has passed and I seem relieved about the commotion yesterday.Whew.I can't believe what I told people yesterday.It just felt like a dream and I was spouting nonsense at that time.Well during conversation online that is.But now I'm back to normal.

New year is around the corner.And I have to start to achieve the upcoming new year resolution.It is going to be a lot to do for the upcoming year which is like in a few days time.My brother is coming back from his trip to China.The time passed so fast.

I felt relieved.Seriously.I should stop being paranoid over things that won't happen.Maybe because in my mind people always say it is better to be safe than never.

Ahh.Well put that aside.I don't really want to remember it anyway.I don't know what to say anymore again.I will add on if something cross my mind.

There is always hope

2009-12-26T16:25:00.004+08:00

Like I said before,I am going to be more active here.Let's see what happen.Today work was fine.Everytime there is always laughter that could make me just forget all the problems away.That's good I guess.

I really don't know what I should blog about.

I hope that my friend will get well soon.

Should I open up myself?

Who knows me well?

Who knows my secret?

There are some secrets that are best not to be told right? There are reasons and consequences and I know they are still not ready to accept it.Even if they knew,I would not blame them and run away.Because this world is full of inspiring unique individuals that possess a lot of different talent and still could never be perfect.Sometimes I feel like I have human phobia and sometime I feel like I have amnesia or usually I gets both of them.

Well we are not perfect by nature.And no one knows another individual secrets without by asking of course.It is a matter of trust to open up to another individual.

Time really are flying rather fast these days especially during the weekdays.School going to reopen pretty soon.

What are you going to do in the upcoming years.
How would it affect our relationship.
And Are you willing to take the risk.

Lazy

2009-12-24T21:25:00.004+08:00

Wow.Nowadays I just feel lazy to blog.Well since I'm here let's talk about a few things in this post.

All of us have already know our results by now and most I can say got promoted.Getting into this promotion is by mere luck and because of this slight chance that was given,we should appreciate and plan to work harder in the upcoming year.And because of this so called "luck" some got separated from their friends as they once thought that they were better than the other one and relied on it too much.Miracles don't happen to everyone and this shows that it happen to a certain individual..

Today is Christmas Eve.What do I have to say.Merry Christmas I guess to everyone.May you enjoy this festive occasion.

We are still friends and our relationship are still in intact.That is great isn't it.What do I have to say.I forgot what I need to blog about.School going to reopen soon.That's random..

Anyway,life has been great and I just keep on making new friends from different ways.Weird.I should start to blog after soon and rat about my life.This year I am not going to celebrate Christmas with my friends so don't bother asking me out tomorrow.If you ask the reason why,must I tell you?

Well I'm going to hit the bed pretty soon.That's for now in my mind to blog about..

Alright something I just remembered.What does a date sounds like.Two people going out or a group of people.Sometimes you just make me puzzled about the things you want to do.Even if we go out,you tried to bring a lot of our friends because why the more the merrier?If you want to have something special between us then this is the basics to think about before we even take another step forward.Someone told me about it what is the true meaning of a date.I don't know why I am talking about a date.Merry Xmas People!

Should I be happy or not?

2009-12-18T23:55:00.005+08:00

It has been 10 days since I post anything here.

Many people always take things for granted and life keep on giving opportunity to those individuals just waiting for them to change.Many have gathered upon one place today awaiting for their results.

We have gone through so much in our youth years and yet we still do not bother to take and learn the responsibility that we should bear.We are the types of an individual which is stubborn to everything that have been given to us.I do not understand myself either.Everytime,it would just be another memory written down here...

All of us are still divided among groups in this world.And each groups could never really counterfeit one another.Because some have the upper hand while some had the lower hand.I find it a pity to see all of us divided into groups because we are all of the same type of kinds that has the ability to do any human being would.Of course it would be a different situation for those that are less fortunate.This is what I hated most about us.We favor the one that we like and we neglect the one that we don't.And why is that you asked.The answer is simple.Money;Popularity;Looks;Status;.All of this are the major factor of why things never revolve around us the way it should..

Uhh.We are just full of craps.We tried to make everything so complicated when we could not accept the truth.

Wandered

2009-12-08T18:45:00.004+08:00

Six days have passed since I blogged and currently I am in a dilemma.Well I am not sure if it is or not.But first let me say Bon Voyage to my brother that is off to China for one month.I wish him all the best for his stay there.

I find it very peculiar that you only told us at this very moment.And I once told you what is going to happen to you in my dream.I am not sure if any of this come to your mind but right now I can see the smile that you once never had before.I do not wish to tear it away from you because you had so many hardship before this.

If it happen,it always does happen for a reason.I could never deny that.But I can say that,it would change all of our life.Maybe I am not ready to accept this reality.And sometimes I wish that I could just well be passive for once.

We are left with few more days till our result.Some are happy about it and some are impatient while some are just afraid of it.All of us had tried to remind one another what is the consequences of it.Some did heed it while some just ignore it.It is too late to think about it anyway.

Sometimes I wish that miracles do happen.And wish that we could at least feel it.And I feel that soon the dark times would once again approach.For these upcoming years it would be like another storm would be hitting us.Maybe I am feeling afraid for these dreams that I keep having to come true.

I don't hold grudges towards anyone up until now.Because it is best to just forgive and forget about it then holding it that bitterness with us throughout life and just keep on thinking about it.Someone also told me that if we cared too much about what people say,we would never succeed.I find it rather true because if we also work cooperatively the only one that gets a promotion is an individual and not a team..And if we are too self-conscious about other people words.It would just hold back our potentials..

Sitting And Wandering.What should I do?

Wishes

2009-12-02T01:31:00.005+08:00

It's been so long.Too long I felt since I typed here.The days to our results are getting lesser and lesser and the pressure is set to increase.I really feel uneasy nowadays.Sometimes I wake up,I try to forget the things that had happened.And tell to myself that It is a new day.But these thoughts are just holding me back.And sometimes I wake up,I just do not want to go on with the agenda set for today..I have grown much.And as the times went by,I keep on having senility towards the situation I'm facing.I wonder what is wrong with me either.

Symptoms have started to show.I am not really thinking too much.It is just what I feel deep down.Has my time come for me,I wonder.Well even so,I have a feeling that I won't last that long either.Probably one or two years And then it will just be up for me.I'm prepared for it.

I don't know.I just don't want to do or say anything right now.I just want to keep quiet for a while.Everything that come out from my mouth is just too hard to handle..I want to lock myself in the room and stay there.I don't wish to socialize anymore.I am just irritated.I am demoralized.I don't know what to do.I never asked to get this life.I'm sorry if I bring burden to you.I'm sorry I could not impress you.I'm sorry that I was not perfect.I'm sorry that I could not help you in your times of need.I'm sorry that I was given by god to you.I'm sorry for everything.

To you,getting out of this situation is just to have fun and forget it all away.I wish I was you.I wish I was different.I wish I could choose my life.And I wish I could just die right now.

I always tried to be strong.But now I realize my mistake.To keep holding on for so long is just too unbearable to hold on.It might be two years since I started this blog.But these feeling were there even before that.

Animal Cruelty

2009-11-22T22:20:00.005+08:00

Today I saw the news about a cat being abuse by us.Well not entirely us but is still our kind.It is easy to tarnish the name of our kind.Just by abusing one cat.Who would have the heart to do that.Animals have the right to live with us and they have been the one that always been there for us.Yet what do we do in return,we abuse to our own likings.We never appreciates them right.Well your reasons might be.
They don't even understand us.
They got no feelings.
They have no brain.
Have you once ever thought.If they really have no feelings why are they even there for us.Like when we needed our friend the most they aren't.That is because they understood what we were going through even if they cannot communicate with us.We shared the pain with them.We might be in a corner trying to comfort ourselves with them by our side.Someone that cares.Even if they were an animal,they are still a living thing.

I found rather pitiful towards that cat.After trying to struggle just to break through from a string tied around its neck to a water pipe.How cruel is that.Let me ask all of you.Do you guys even know the line between us and them.Where is our human dignity?!It is truly getting worse and worse.We!.We are too competence with things.Wanting to be superior,filthy rich,smart,good-looking.So what does that show if you have a very rotten attitude towards these animals.You are way too low to regard as a human with self-respect.You are the bottom of this very root that we stand on.Maybe even lower.Such Despicable Act!

Our kinds have just really lost it.The love of the things around us.Appreciation.Nature.Animals.I cannot believe it either.I just wish that retribution should befall on such act..They are innocent to carry the burden of ours.They don't deserve to breathe in the harmful gas we produce.They never asked to be abuse.They are alone in this world you know.They are not some monstrous creature which would bite you just from a single touch..Jeez..What is wrong with you people!.Even if you are angry.You shouldn't take your anger out on them.WAKE UP AND REALIZE IT.They did nothing wrong!!They all just wanted affection from us.Is it so hard?!We just complain so much,don't we?.We also have lost our sympathy towards one another..That is why it is hard to show to other kinds..

I am referring to "we" including me and you readers as well because all of us are of the same kind.Even if we did not commit those acts,we would have to carry that bad name along us..

"What have we become..Are we the monster from the start.."

What is this all about?

2009-11-22T03:30:00.004+08:00

Hello readers.It has been a few days since I last logged on here.Let's start.A sunflower which brings a smile to people life but at this period it is bringing the opposite.Everywhere is facing such problem even making a place so dire for things to move.So much days have passed and all of us are just carrying our life as normal work or without them.I have a feeling this is going to be a short post.

It is 3.32am here and I am typing away.I have seen all of you grew up since the last few years and we have bonded so much.All the bitterness we went through and the differences we put aside.Even if they did came back to haunt us.No one wants to lose a friend out here right.You might have shared a secret with them.But to you is a secret and to them is just nothing.Or you rely on them to reap its rewards.Whatever it is I'm not interested.

All of us in this world are still divided into groups.Groups that still torments one another.For example,the rich and the poor living on the same district.And by poor I mean their accommodation,jobs,food etc.And in school usually the popular and the not so popular.I am not trying to make a fuss out of it just to make all readers realize some values in it.It is true that we have the rights to choose who we want to be and be what we want to.No one is stopping you and neither am I.But in each individual groups there is always a certain of them pick on the weaklings.To you is enjoyment..Laughter..Entertainment.But to them.Embarrassment,Hurt,Depression.Yet all of you would say "It wouldn't hurt,it was just merely a joke".To you is a joke but what does it mean to them.We can really affect someone else personality if we are not careful with out actions towards them.Not all of us have the same thinking.For instance,you might think life is good while there is someone out there contradicts it..

I have hope the best for you.Because you are my friend.Everyone knows the limit of friendship.But that limit could always exceed beyond expectation.It is up to an individual to do that.No one can force them to do so.It is a person willingness.I hope that all of you are well from this holidays.It might just be a day we meet once more.But everyday we would remain contactable.Just by a dial away..

Identity

2009-11-15T00:17:00.004+08:00

Well that mess is clear up for now.And I would assume life would go on as per normal.And I have found a deep meaning towards my identity.To understand myself better without being acknowledge by anyone.It is a good thing that I turn to it as it makes me calm once more.Just like a flower it brings about serenity to it's dull surrounding.It has given me a new way of hope to everything that life had offer me.

Things that are done always remain in this world and no matter how far we try to erase or hide it away from the truth.It can never be done.Because someone out there is able to outwit the culprit as they believe that justice is mightier than a crime.No matter the quantity or the risk of it,once it is called a crime it remained as one.We have live in such a great society.Well at least it is better than before.Would you rather get a death sentence just by doing a theft.I doubt anyone would.Even if I say that this society has improve,there is always room for improvement and taking things into consideration.Maybe predictions perhaps.Because of so many predictions that had been made,it often misled from the rest.And by then our civilization would go off into dust..

The sign of the end of days have already been shown.If only an Intel was within my reach,it would be easier to monitor everything..

Putting that aside,we are left with a month and a half for next year intake.Although our results are still not yet announce to us,it would in the near future.I don't think people would really want to wait that long just to get their result.And none of us are focus about work as we are too worried of the outcome on the result.This situation is different if an individual could not be bothered two months back..

I am glad I guess.I have found myself again.And I have to bear in mind.The morality that had been taught to me since I was young...It is somewhat a part of me.And has always been the pillar of my mentality..

Frustration

2009-11-14T01:12:00.004+08:00

I am just feeling frustrated about everything even if I try to condone your actions.It always can't be done.It is like in my head and everywhere I turn to I am always being reminded of it.There are so many things that I am expecting for it and it just keep failing to appear right there when I was looking forward on that day.

Just like a withered rose,my life is like a mess and I need to find its root growth.To start anew or holds a straight growth with the right amount of everything to balance it off.I am never putting the blame on anyone on this mess.It happens and so I must clear it up.It takes time.I hope all of you understand and give me that essence of time..

The world cataclysm which predicted on 2012 or in other words shown in the movie "2012" holds varies of emotion.It could happen and it could not.But one thing for sure,we should not be misled by our own selfishness.Even when you said that you are the smartest people or richest person in the world,everyone receive that life that god had given us which we have earn equally to prove with our priceless deeds in this world.Everyone deserves to live.There is a slight chance that it could really happen on that day.That is what I think but it is only a slight chance.There are so many theories and yet never proven of the prediction and it just keep on coming weeks by weeks.Galactic Alignment.Earth Crust Displacement.Tsunami.Earth-Quake.Yellow Stone Eruption.Solar Flare Radiation from the Sun.Pole Shift.We are left with 3 years from now..

Many people are just leaving for their own self-interest and I am just too caught up within the relationship which causes me to express emotion which I should not have bothered with.I have to stay focus and stay out of it.Only for certain reasons there will be an exception.If not my life would just be a mess.Maybe this is the root cause of my today's frustration.Since I know it,I'm gonna back down of it..

Even if I said that humans have done too many terrible things to this world.Even still this is our world and to survive we must work together in order to do so.There is always a flaw in every cataclysm and the solution to just get out of it.Nothing in this world can deliver such perfect outcome.If you say there is,there are often works behind the curtain which we don't know of..

You told me that you have done your best to nurture us.And you are willing to let us go.But when I look into your eyes,it holds another emotion.It felt like your tears could just at any moment roll down from your cheek.Even if they were not really our blood and flesh,they still holds the characteristic in the generation.And when they are really gone,how will you react..This is another example why I am just too caught up with relationship even if it was an exception..

"Fighting till end to save humanity.We must never submit."

Friends or not..

2009-11-11T00:02:00.003+08:00

There are times when you said that you would be my friend until the end of our life in this world.It all seems so surreal and everything has its limit and so does our relationship.You told everyone that we had something more than just that.But right now,I do not know what you are feeling.Do you want to go to the extent to break what we had before just because of this typical incident..Only a few knows the true meaning of the word love and the result never fail to come right before us..We know that you do not wish to accept it and would want to be someone you are not.This shows something..you have completely lost control of who you are..The true meaning of you.Your purpose.Don't tell me you came to this world just to find a soul mate only..Well if it is,just wake up for once..

You might say its the end of everything and you might say it is pointless to live on.And a lot have end their life just because of it.But do you realize something..Everything can be obtain at any point of time and only one thing that is really precious and have its only one chance,your life.We live in a society that really just have its cold truth.No one is brought up perfectly and can deliver your every demands.That is why we reconcile with one another to satisfy with one of the other needs.Even if it is not all at least some were honored..We can atone for our mistakes and find new beginning in our life..But if we were to change our attitude,you are like changing everything which describe you..I know I cannot change for what you want to be.But as a friend,I would like you to take on the good path in life..I have been on the other path and it is worse than what you are going through..Just listen and Heed for once..

Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can’t explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don’t want to need at all.

The walls start breathing
My minds unweaving
Maybe it’s best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can’t explain what you can’t explain.
You're finding things that you didn’t know
I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing
My minds unweaving
Maybe it’s best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

[Chorus]
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Now I’m on my own side
It’s better than being on your side
It’s my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside
Now you’re the first to know

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends when darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Tonight,
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight.

This song entitled "It ends tonight" by the All American Rejects.I do not want to go into detail what is the meaning of this song.If you understand it,that is good basically it is referring to the paragraph above the lyrics.No one could no longer help you if you yourself do not want to help yourself.It is my fault that I never made you realize your mistake even though it's too late..This post is not meant to make you feel even worse but as the actual fact of what you are doing right now..

"There is no time to make such mistakes as there are bigger problems we have to tackle with.."

Where are you?

2009-11-10T00:05:00.002+08:00

Everyday I keep seeing so many typical relationship either going up or down the drain.Though I myself do not have one,it seems quite logical what to do during such situation.Many of you would say that you cherish the one that you have forge the relationship with but everytime I would always ask you one question.How much are you expressing to them?It is true that gift can bring about someone happiness but only the thoughts that count.It doesn't matter if you are rich or poor because anyone could forge that relationship.All of us have memories which is priceless.Nothing could be bought above them.And nothing could be change once its stored..

I see these light bulbs which glows light colors in it.Just like people emotion.It glows in them.It had been quite a while since I have last talk to you and it seems that our friendship was only until this end.We are lack of trust but sometimes I really wonder why.Is it due to experience?Ethnicity?..Well it's your choice.Even if I barely tried to help you because you never looked for me in the first place..

You are the one that could bring my emotion high and down at the same time.And sometimes I wonder why.We are two different individual and yet we have the same thinking.Though you never really show it in reality,it seems understandable.Everyone out here just want to have fun and suffer later on.To their mind,money and work come first while they set back their education just by a mere three month.And to them it is only just three month which would gone by in a flash..It seems that all of us have forgotten the importance of education and well life..

"I could no longer act as an active role and could remain as a passive one only"

Awaiting

2009-11-07T12:38:00.003+08:00

Even after so many days have passed since the last examination we last sat for,everyone are slowly to adapt and began to change their thinking on the working world.Some call it fun while some call it tiring.And because of such opportunity was given,many would neglect on their studies in the near future just because they desire for it.

There are love which shows their true affection towards one another but how many out there are willing to wait for their soul mate if they were told to.And if you were to left them just because you got tired of waiting,it means you are just toying with him/her.People say that they wanted to go to the end of earth to hold their lover hand or until death do us apart.Of course I know that this is a different type of situation but still possessing such affection for the other party is all it matter.No obstacles can be a blockage for love..

There are times right now and right here I feel something is wrong with my body once more.It felt like everytime I stretch,something felt punctured in my lower abdomen.And would usually get sore on the upper part.Could it be because I overwork myself too much..Or could just there be another reason for it..Should just stop thinking about it..

Off to work..